tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34493323728325565392024-03-19T05:09:40.509-07:00TRAPPEDAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.comBlogger237125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-36587741052132209512016-01-25T03:23:00.000-08:002016-01-25T03:23:38.499-08:00‘The Dark Ages of Racial Segregation’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNwUU8XU1PwOZ12_CPLajp-xQW-hS0Xnr1f3d_wwG9L61xV81o_I4ybcl_EzPpweUyskk4XPSzanahU4iA4p8DM03hI5HAx_zUFKiPkABfqqHfN00ArusliFz2zVfoIE6qqkjCjDw5EzA/s1600/istock_000003529685xsmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNwUU8XU1PwOZ12_CPLajp-xQW-hS0Xnr1f3d_wwG9L61xV81o_I4ybcl_EzPpweUyskk4XPSzanahU4iA4p8DM03hI5HAx_zUFKiPkABfqqHfN00ArusliFz2zVfoIE6qqkjCjDw5EzA/s400/istock_000003529685xsmall.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Currently, Arizona is one of only a
few states that actually enforces racial segregation within its prison housing
locations. This means that Caucasians can only bunk up – or cell – with other Caucasians
and so on and so forth. There are a few exceptions to the rule for people like
myself who are actually classified as ‘other’. I can. For any reason, be housed
with any race.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the years that I have been in
prison, a part of me has always believed that it was the administration’s
higher powers who continued segregation in hopes of preventing the races of
coming together. If all races saw themselves as equals then surely, they would
be a force to be reckoned with. By allowing the races to be divided, race wars
typically result – or at least, a war between one particular race, and not the
others. Since Arizona prisons are my only experience, I can tell you that this
is exactly how it plays out. Though I am not a supporter of segregation, I know
it began long before I was alive and so, I have had to conform to the ideologies
of this particular correctional system.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This past month however, The Arizona
Department of Corrections, has in effect, began planning to integrate the races
in their housing assignments. I was secretly elated at this news. I admit that
at times, I believed it was surely nothing more than a pipe dream, but I was
wrong. I was so wrong in fact, that tomorrow marks the 1<sup>st</sup> day of
racial integration in my particular unit.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the past week, I have been silent
to those around me. People who I have considered close to me have begun to let
their true colors come out. All of a sudden, I am seeing how racist some of
these men are. I can somehow understand how men, who have been incarcerated for
many years (like myself) would become set in their ways. That is not the case
however. Instead, I am seeing men in their 20’s, who have been in prison for
only a few years, (some even less) suddenly having an issue with being housed
with races other than their own. It’s incredibly disheartening to me and at the
same time, thought provoking. Were these racist thoughts/beliefs simply latent
inside them? Is prison so intensely conforming that it can change people’s
logical thinking in such a short period of time? Unfortunately, I don’t have
the answer to this question but it is curious just the same.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s no secret that the skinheads have
accepted me in their own way and of course, they make it clear that I can
absolutely live in a bunk or cell with any one of them. Anyone else of color
however – is unacceptable. It begs the question of: why me? Is it possible to
be selectively racist? I suppose we can all be somewhat racist, given a person’s
character, but what is it that convinces people to drop their bias and accept certain
individuals?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have listened to guys go on and on
about how they would live with a Black, but not a Mexican American or a Native
American. Some claim they will not live with a Black but only a Mexican
American. Inside, I wonder how these men came to these conclusions. Are we not all
human beings in this world? Haven’t we gotten past this stage of history? I
suppose not. I guess we instead simply choose to remain silent in our beliefs
because after all, it is 2016.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So here I am. I am in a melting pot of
cultural bloodlines and I find myself guilty of the exact same thinking.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For example, if a form were to come
around with various races on it with check boxes next to each and I was forced
to choose (1) to bunk, or cell up with, then I myself would choose Caucasian.
In my case, I don’t know if that decision is racially motivated or not. My
choice would be tied back to my association within this environment. It just so
happens that I have more close acquaintances/associates/friends who are
Caucasian. Does this mean that I am racist against Blacks, Mexican Americans, Native
Americans and Asians? In my heart and soul – it doesn’t. But maybe I’m wrong.
Perhaps this is exactly how others will see it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Time will tell how this all plays out.
One thing is for certain though, I am glad that my journey in this chapter of
my life is almost over.</span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-44655464636828927742015-12-19T18:18:00.000-08:002015-12-19T18:26:15.468-08:00‘What Makes Me Different?’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, November 29, 2015</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIJJopwLx8Ud6jYUzkSaHkVOH_Dg4ApkmiQpKHtMHc8q7b5MGsDTACci2HHKGm_QJyViQ243nHtO82PXijUSDMq9oSW4CMxd-RjSK9DCIFzv6OZBwB6LTHx4jKVwfG4218phV8KJvKSFg/s1600/different.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIJJopwLx8Ud6jYUzkSaHkVOH_Dg4ApkmiQpKHtMHc8q7b5MGsDTACci2HHKGm_QJyViQ243nHtO82PXijUSDMq9oSW4CMxd-RjSK9DCIFzv6OZBwB6LTHx4jKVwfG4218phV8KJvKSFg/s400/different.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I received a random, anonymous inquiry
recently asking me what it was that made me different from every other criminal
that is in prison. The writer went on to say that I took people’s live<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">s</span> and that I deserved
to be here. They <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">added</span> that I was using my looks and my education to
overshadow the fact that I was a murderer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Take a moment and imagine me sitting
in my 6’x8’ cubicle after a long day of work and opening that piece of
correspondence. I was visibly shaken and immediately crumbled up the letter and
dropped it into my trash bin. I took a long shower and cried my eyes out, not
because this person is right, but rather – because I needed to be reminded of
my actions. I do this on my own, every single day. I will always have shame in
my heart for the fact that my decisions and actions resulted in, and
contributed to people dying. I have never made excuses for that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Once I got myself together and had a
moment to really think about what this person had said, I realized that there
is indeed a lot that makes me very different from other criminals in this
prison. Unless someone actually lives and breathes in this place, and
associates with the men who call this place “home”, it would be difficult for them
to really understand. There are many things that set me, and a few others –
apart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Outside love and support</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Very few
prisoners have the love and support of family and friends. It is an amazing
thing to know that there are people who care for and love you. It gives me at
least, a bigger reason to get up and be better and to love and care for others
in return. The visits, the phone calls and the endless letters; all of these
things remind me that I am a human being and I am not just another inmate in
orange.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“Murderer”</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Contrary to what
the author of this anonymous letter asserts, I do not and cannot classify
myself as a murderer. There is no argument that my actions had a correlating
effect on the fact that that 3 innocent people lost their lives. I own, and take
responsibility for that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The difference,
the distinguishing factor is that I did not go out that evening with intent or
malice. As tragic as the event was, it was truly an accident. I think that fact
alone, sets me apart from someone who willfully puts a gun to another person’s
head and pulls the trigger or intentionally r<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">uns</span> someone over with malice in
their heart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Career Criminal</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am not a career
criminal like so many men in this place. I do not spend my days mapping out or
planning ways to commit the same crimes – but in a much better way. Many men in
prison sincerely believe that they only have to steal or cheat in order take
fast money.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Corrupted Mind</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Rather than
adopting a criminal way of thinking, I have learned how to stay ahead of it and
– understand it. It is bizarre to realize that I am surrounded by men who are
inclined to believe that because they see and want something, they are entitled
to simply ‘take’ it. They will lie, cheat and manipulate others to get what they want –
and at the same time, convince themselves that it is "okay" in order to validate
their actions. It is really quite pathological when you sit back and watch it
all unfold.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Looks Aren’t Everything</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The way that I
look is completely out of my control. I can however lead a healthy lifesty<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">le </span>despite <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the</span> environment in here<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. Because of this, I appear hea<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">lthy. </span></span>The
majority of men <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">in prison</span> are ravaged by drug use, homelessness, laziness and a few
other not so pretty things. I have been lucky enough to be able to take care of
myself and for me, physical fitness has always been a big part of me life, even
before coming to prison. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have never
believed that I am better looking than anyone else. I am really not that
superficial. In general, I am accustomed to being scrutinized on my appearance –
so why would I do that same thing to someone else?</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The intelligent factor</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My education was
a very good one, thanks to my mom. I had very little influence on where to go,
or what to do with regard to my education and I am so glad for that now. Yes – I am
educated, cultured and pretty worldly. It’s a part of who I am and cannot change
that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This entry is not
intended to change people’s minds about me, but rather, to enlighten some
readers on the fact that there are distinctive differences between me and the
typical inmate. I do understand why it is that I am in prison. My goal is
simply to help others understand that sometimes, extraordinary and horrible accidents
can happen to individuals who are not intentional criminals. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I have managed to empower just one person with
this new understanding, then I have succeeded in writing this for everyone to
read.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-36911553040523688582015-09-15T03:27:00.001-07:002015-09-15T03:30:52.692-07:00‘It’s just sex people…. Can’t we all just RELAX???’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tuesday, September 15, 2015</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdL2dWrRuyNPFqfa5VkRDerHbzbvQaKfyyFudi73ZRorzLF-pwiVntDsfrIl_jKzmaede3QDcONGfEZDUks3gNx2ry26PSzNVEblbb8-ASbBexjHT1nzT8u5AZ0yKsl8hmo34u4bSVMhI/s1600/dispatches-from-america39s-shadow-economy-confessions-of-a-male-escort.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdL2dWrRuyNPFqfa5VkRDerHbzbvQaKfyyFudi73ZRorzLF-pwiVntDsfrIl_jKzmaede3QDcONGfEZDUks3gNx2ry26PSzNVEblbb8-ASbBexjHT1nzT8u5AZ0yKsl8hmo34u4bSVMhI/s640/dispatches-from-america39s-shadow-economy-confessions-of-a-male-escort.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Most healthy, normal humans enjoy sex.
It’s a simple fact. Some obviously enjoy it much more than others, but everyone
will agree - it is one of our basic animal drives. And thankfully, this commonly
shared desire is one that supports the ongoing existence of the human race. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It is the ‘business’ of sex though,
that has many of us divided. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The very
notion of turning something so incredibly pleasurable into a profit center, makes
a lot of people squirm. Some turn sex into a career because of their acute
business sense. Others get involved in ‘adult entertainment’ because they genuinely
have a higher sexual appetite - and they truly enjoy it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, sadly, there are those who turn to
the business of selling sex because they are limited in their abilities to
survive economically in any other way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Though I rarely admit it to most
people, I have considered a career as an escort or in adult entertainment. I am
not alone in this fantasy. I have spoken to many men who also daydream about
this enterprise. (Who wouldn’t want to get paid for something that feels so
good?) But for me, there is a different reality. When I consider those careers,
I am reminded of the fact that when I get out there and start looking to build a
legitimate career, many people will know that I have been incarcerated. That
stigma presents a considerable emotional roadblock to many who would otherwise readily
employ me. Looking at the very real difficulties of becoming gainfully employed
as an ex-convict, motivated me in this initial thought process. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have always kept this as a “backup
plan”. If I was not successful as a Personal Trainer and found myself needing
to generate some positive cash flow, I could always get into that ‘business’ if
need be. Hell, there really is no harm in it – right? That career however, is
still “taboo” even though the escorting side of it is one of the oldest
professions known to man. I prefer not to say that this choice, for me, would
be out of despair. That would be a lie. And I seriously doubt that many men and
women in this particular arena grew up wanting to be in it as a lifelong dream.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have known, and still know men that
are successful in the adult film industry and on the side, are escorting as
well. More than a few had fallen into it after attempting a legitimate modeling
career. It’s an easy transition for most and sometimes, even easier to get
booked. This has been going on for years and the internet and social media have
provided the platform that was needed for men and women to take their ‘services’
to the next level. I have watched it grow with a fervency to match no other as
I sit behind these prison walls. It amazes me to no end.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Porn is readily accessible at the
click of a mouse and often times, it is free. There are Apps and websites
readily available for anyone’s sexual tastes or preference. Specific fetishes
are now more accepted than ever because the internet enables people to connect
socially on line with others who share their same likes. Because I cannot
experience either the internet or social media myself, I am truly non-biased in
my viewpoint. I personally feel that, as long as no one is getting hurt, it is
all okay. Obviously everyone has their own personal feelings or beliefs on sex,
but if no one is being harmed, than why criticize or judge?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Recently, a website by the name of
Rentboy.com was raided by the FBI and Homeland Security. The news breaking hit
home only because I am familiar with a few guys who have marketed their
services on that site. As a man who has casually considered getting into this
field or should I say, “line of work”, I too would definitely have used
Rentboy.com as a platform myself.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiumLmHbumghyphenhyphenkFaYjqpVFEdbYI1DLBJtaH0EdXK29bo1wBU5KkiSA3sBm8quUmqHzX3Jtm3JcrNbcNtL_V7XagL0a3s6lCcsvt7nhADC6uqHDAt41_jLrWLGqR1XhH7QDjiQkcDcRE5L8/s1600/BN-KD509_NYRENT_J_20150903132349.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiumLmHbumghyphenhyphenkFaYjqpVFEdbYI1DLBJtaH0EdXK29bo1wBU5KkiSA3sBm8quUmqHzX3Jtm3JcrNbcNtL_V7XagL0a3s6lCcsvt7nhADC6uqHDAt41_jLrWLGqR1XhH7QDjiQkcDcRE5L8/s640/BN-KD509_NYRENT_J_20150903132349.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="wsj-article-caption" itemprop="caption">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="wsj-article-caption-content">Demonstrators outside
the federal courthouse in Brooklyn denounce the arrests of the chief
executive and several employees of Rentboy.com.</span>
<span class="wsj-article-credit" itemprop="creator">
<span class="wsj-article-credit-tag"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="wsj-article-caption" itemprop="caption">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="wsj-article-credit" itemprop="creator"><span class="wsj-article-credit-tag">Photo:
</span>
Steve Remich for The Wall Street Journal
</span></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look, in no way can I speak as an
expert to the specific case involving Rentboy.com. I don’t know all the facts
and would never claim to be in the know with everything that is going on. That doesn’t
negate the fact that I still have questions. Is this a gay issue? A
solicitation issue? How will this impact the people who are trying to
supplement their income, to put food on their table and keep a roof over their
heads? Escorting (and sex) is going on in many other areas, so why this website?
And why now?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As an adult, I wonder; why, in this
day and age, should it be illegal for me to have a simple business transaction
with another consenting adult? Is it because it is the act of sex that we
cannot accept as ‘trade’? Is this some arcane moral value that still holds
through the test of time? I mean, are there that many people who are still
against this – even today?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The fact that I will be 35 this year,
and 37 when I am released, presents a closing window of time for me to even
consider myself in the adult entertainment industry, I realize this and accept
it wholeheartedly. That doesn’t change the fact that I feel this rentboy.com
situation is being made into a spectacle for unforeseen reasons. The continuous
‘ooohs’ and ‘ ahhhhs’ of shock, is quite ridiculous. Are we, as a people, this naïve
and critical to: A) Not realize that this is a business – or- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>B) Want to condemn it? I don’t believe this
topic will ever be settled but I had to voice my personal outlook on it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hell, my platform here is miniscule in
comparison to others but, as this topic develops more and take on a life of its
own, I felt it my due diligence to speak up as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Related Links:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="http://www.vox.com/2015/8/18/9166669/why-legalize-prostitution" target="_blank">http://www.vox.com/2015/8/18/9166669/why-legalize-prostitution</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.rawstory.com/2015/09/protesters-condemn-u-s-case-over-rentboy-com-male-escort-website/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://www.rawstory.com/2015/09/protesters-condemn-u-s-case-over-rentboy-com-male-escort-website/</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://dirkcaber.com/2015/08/27/reflection-on-the-rentboy-com-raid/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://dirkcaber.com/2015/08/27/reflection-on-the-rentboy-com-raid/</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/27/nyregion/raid-of-rentboy-an-escort-website-angers-gay-activists.html?_r=0"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/27/nyregion/raid-of-rentboy-an-escort-website-angers-gay-activists.html?_r=0</span></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-71449036335696785912015-08-02T02:57:00.000-07:002015-08-02T02:57:23.816-07:00’13 Things you must give up to be Happy – and how I feel about them’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLUXFRG5dQ-I2Uct5hOrshM-rZjQMpMCzyN-b7HkA4JENIvaRYdaVq7Jmp3bOaeXvQFi3wm3ZpkdqgCxjpGspdhQD5dtKuc9dHE49qFyjPmKd25UIQ0_lvDtao0ycF808DBdvnOcWEE2k/s1600/yoda-quote-star-wars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLUXFRG5dQ-I2Uct5hOrshM-rZjQMpMCzyN-b7HkA4JENIvaRYdaVq7Jmp3bOaeXvQFi3wm3ZpkdqgCxjpGspdhQD5dtKuc9dHE49qFyjPmKd25UIQ0_lvDtao0ycF808DBdvnOcWEE2k/s400/yoda-quote-star-wars.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Recently, I was watching a television program
that raised the topic of happiness. The following 13 suggestions of things to
abandon were mentioned. It got me to think about how those suggestions related
to me personally. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up bad spending habits</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is not an issue for me. I have
adopted a really good amount of self discipline in spending and deciphering
what it is that I need vs. what I want. (But I also love a good deal when it
can be found…)</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up waiting for the perfect moment. Do it
now</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Given my current situation, this is
really not something I can put in motion…at least not in the areas of my life
that I would like to see affected.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up your Social Media obsession</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I don’t even know what that would
entail for me since I do not have any access to social media.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up living in the past. Those times may
have shaped you into what you are today, but they don’t have the power to
control your future.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is something I struggle with. I
am conscious of it, but it is so easy to revert back to the past. I know that I
have grown and changed in more ways than I can count, so I need to focus on the
future and being the man that I have become.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up your yearning to fit in</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not an issue for me since I have never
exactly ‘fit in’. I have come to embrace this train in myself. For me, fitting
in is boring and lacks personal identification.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up your disorganized lifestyle</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am obsessive in my life and
meticulous in all that I do so disorganization is not an option for me.
Personally I find disorganization unacceptable because I cannot function in
life if things are in disarray.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up your overanalyzing of situations</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I fall short on this habit. I analyze
a lot and can easily find myself overanalyzing situations. Ironic; I am even
overanalyzing my analysis of this habit. Not a good sign.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up your need to have the “best” things. Don’t
forget about the wonderful things you already have.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is easy for me because I remind
myself of the things that I do have in this situation. All of the material stuff
has become less and less important to me. I still enjoy some of the best things…
I just place less emphasis on them now that I did before.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up toxic relationships</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the moment, I don’t have any.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: yellow;">Give up your hesitation to indulge.</span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Indulging for me is putting my feet up
and reading a good book. I do it every chance that I can get.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: yellow;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give up
comparing yourself to others. Embrace who you are because there isn’t anyone
better than you can be</span>.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not until coming to prison did I open
my eyes and begin to move forward in becoming the best David, the best man that
I know how to be. It’s something I wish everyone could do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give up
your packed schedule. Choose a day a week to dedicate to yourself. </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Easier said than done and I think most
people would agree – but duly noted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give up relying on others to make you feel
happy & fulfilled. You are in charge of your own wellness. Know what you
want out of life.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know intrinsically that this is true. I have
had my own issues with happiness and think that I have yet to discover what it
feels like authentically. One thing is certain; I do not rely on others to make
me feel happy or fulfilled. I know that only I can do that.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-75819728209616873092015-06-08T01:35:00.002-07:002015-06-08T01:37:28.312-07:00New images added to the gallery!<a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/p/trapped-photo-gallery.html"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/p/trapped-photo-gallery.html</span></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-27503946176500740842015-05-30T16:45:00.000-07:002015-05-30T18:03:08.591-07:00‘The Boston Bomber’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tuesday, May 19, 2015</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The verdict is in: Guilty. And the
penalty? <span style="color: red;"> </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">Death.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;"> </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I must have watched and re-watched
this on every news channel over the weekend. People around me would ask how I
felt about it and I would say to them that I expected the guilty verdict, but
nothing else. What I do not agree with is the penalty of DEATH. When people
hear that, they are clearly shocked or confused.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">First. Let me say that I am a
supporter of the death penalty. I believe there are people who commit heinous
acts that need not continue breathing. My issue with the death penalty however,
is the process of appeal. Many people live on death row for decades and the
appeals cost millions in state tax dollars. I feel that one appeal is certainly
warranted but not 3,4 and so on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In Tsarnaev’s case, I feel he is better
suited in some dark, dank cell for the rest of his natural life. He is young, which
means he will have a very long time to live in complete isolation. Let me tell
you, as someone who was in isolation and a single man cell for years, that it
can, and will drive you crazy eventually. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My biggest concern however, is not
for Tsarnaev, but for the victims. The victims will have to relive their
experience at every appeal his attorneys file. It is unfair to them. This
justice system is meant partially for the victims to have closure and that will
not happen if there are 20+ years in appeals. So for those reasons, I hope he
does not allow his attorneys to continue in appeals court. It would be idiotic
of me to expect him to think of others though and so, for that, I will not be
surprised to see this ordeal continue on into the years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Let’s keep our fingers crossed. No
matter what the outcome, we will still remain Boston Strong.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabCgDZa4R-u6ZO9eiObMqLpQC0o2fQeXuCUGe0GY3nHYpyvSjRaUfhHM847TCU3H4rpnbqqvtKo5h6X4RP87tkJBhIR_qONRoTUGyNYXD70ouKkuOsEvLEzkBe16LwkkKj-0N0wdzCkc/s1600/bostonstrong2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="504" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabCgDZa4R-u6ZO9eiObMqLpQC0o2fQeXuCUGe0GY3nHYpyvSjRaUfhHM847TCU3H4rpnbqqvtKo5h6X4RP87tkJBhIR_qONRoTUGyNYXD70ouKkuOsEvLEzkBe16LwkkKj-0N0wdzCkc/s640/bostonstrong2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<a href="http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2015/05/15/how-tsarnaev-was-sentenced-death/Lj8CTLvT6yxTBxEXHvKn2M/story.html">http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2015/05/15/how-tsarnaev-was-sentenced-death/Lj8CTLvT6yxTBxEXHvKn2M/story.html</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-80149817330382509382015-05-30T16:39:00.000-07:002015-05-30T18:01:28.084-07:00‘Unlikely Friends’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Monday, May 18, 2015</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vNfOpwTLS_4fCaO5Ki5M8yiD6cPoMWr-0_eWZXp3v4dCHdWlxB5jqhzaIpjjZ1fwpdZEPDhKqmjaBbsW6RYKYoJ_661NzBmSymLfeFppIRkzPh6wY7hWLyyH-FG57904SpC-B7F6qqc/s1600/AB-Tattoos-II-I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vNfOpwTLS_4fCaO5Ki5M8yiD6cPoMWr-0_eWZXp3v4dCHdWlxB5jqhzaIpjjZ1fwpdZEPDhKqmjaBbsW6RYKYoJ_661NzBmSymLfeFppIRkzPh6wY7hWLyyH-FG57904SpC-B7F6qqc/s400/AB-Tattoos-II-I.jpg" width="292" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Throughout the months of March and
April, I was experiencing a significant amount of disdain for the people I
lived around. The particular hut that I lived in was no longer seen as an ‘Honor
Inmate’ location and therefore, was used to house anyone. I became acutely
aware of the fact that almost everyone around me was smoking the synthetic drug
‘spice’. If they weren’t smoking it, they were friends with others who were.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Spice is an epidemic in prison and I
am sure it is outside these walls as well. I am not going to elaborate on drugs
in prison because. I assume that my readers are intelligent enough to realize
that drugs are a problem here. The unfortunate thing about spice is that it is
impossible to test for it in here. It literally makes people act insane and
frequently, they simply fall out and stop breathing. All in all, these are not
good things – and living around people that partake – was really not a
wonderful experience. The ‘Spice Heads’ (as I call them) combined with the
drama from work and being on call 24/7, caused me to reevaluate my
situation.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I drew the conclusion that I needed to
move across the street to Yard 2 and live around individuals that I have not
only known for many years (at various prisons), but also, knew that there would
be no drama, no spice and a certain amount of camaraderie. This is a much
better situation except for one detail. The individuals I live with now are
<u>skin heads</u>. When you take that into account, someone like me should not – in any
way – be accepted as a friend, or into their fold. I pretty much stand for
everything they don’t and you would think that it would be the basis for a big,
big problem. Oddly however, it has never been an issue and believe me when I
say, that these are not new friendships in the making. I have been friends with
a few of them for over 12 years now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have debated for awhile on whether
or not I should write about this particular subject because I do not want to
come across as a total hypocrite to my own people. I also do not want to appear
to be a supporter of skin head nation. What I do want to do is to open peoples
eyes. We all have different beliefs and ways of life. We all judge and have our
limits. Many of us believe we are ‘right' and that others are ‘wrong’.
Sometimes, we have no sensible explanation for things and when people ask me
how I could possibly be ‘friends’ with these guys, or why I think that they are
friends with me, I give the reasons as I see them. Unfortunately, they have
never experienced the same things I have and cannot understand what I speak
of. For you reading this, I will try to break down the reasons and maybe, just
maybe, you will understand why we have come to a place where we accept one
another.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Before coming to the North Unit in
Florence, I was always unlucky to have been housed in some of the most violent
prisons in the state. 95% of the time, I was the only homosexual accepted
because of how I carried myself. Also, I have always straddled the
proverbial racial fence because of my mixed heritage, of how I speak and behave.
My overall prison demeanor has always pretty much been testosterone storming,
masculine, and very “take no prisoner” in disposition. Tough characters relate to
one another. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In addition, when you go to war with someone, or in our case a
riot – you learn a lot about people in their most vulnerable form. A couple of
these guys I am living with now have literally pulled me out of harm’s way
because they respect my character. They have fought for me and stood up
for me at times when I was unable to do so for myself. That is really the only
explanation that I have and all I can hope, is that somehow you can understand
how this very unlikely group of friends has developed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I moved to Yard II on the 21<sup>st</sup>
of April and decided I would rather be at peace, around people I knew and
trusted then to stay and deal with the nonsense of where I was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since relocating, I have been able to
hear myself think. I am not bothered by a bunch of immature inmate shenanigans and
a huge bonus here: nobody smokes spice. There are only 200 men living on this
particular yard so I have a small circle of friends. Really – that’s all I need.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My new mailing address:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">David R McKinney </span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">#169947 YD II - 4E 16</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ASPC Florence – North</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">PO Box 8000</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Florence, AZ 85132-8000</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-82897535959001791482015-04-25T06:20:00.002-07:002015-04-25T06:20:54.831-07:00‘Defying the Laws of Categorization’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Monday, April 6, 2015</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPGcC6D0JWOKDkpkwFLd0e_yF-kRJcFht7RsPKgOjYEsrNydD1nrBGU1Br84A0BolWBG0z02WrkzCZocJHXOzEBgXKeyNfBpAAXRoccePJ47KidoRESs2kvIM5kLxvTdk6luOQ4OK2gM/s1600/the+box.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPGcC6D0JWOKDkpkwFLd0e_yF-kRJcFht7RsPKgOjYEsrNydD1nrBGU1Br84A0BolWBG0z02WrkzCZocJHXOzEBgXKeyNfBpAAXRoccePJ47KidoRESs2kvIM5kLxvTdk6luOQ4OK2gM/s1600/the+box.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s seemingly impossible to put me
inside of a box. It would be easy to say I am a convict, a gay man, a person of
color or simply a Jew. There is nothing simple about placing ourselves in a
particular category though because, as human beings, we are deeper, more
complex that just that. For me, I remember a time when all I wanted to do was ‘fit
in’. I think a lot of kids and young adults do. It wasn’t I began to really
know and accept who I am, who I wanted to be, that I was happy to be different.
Within the 4 categories listed above that people use to define me. there are
also inner categories that have evolved. Some, mind you, are black & white.
Some, more than not, are very grey. It is for that reason that I believe that
the majority of human beings, myself included, have begun to defy the
stereotypical laws of categorization.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Convict: The greater majority of
people would think that all convicts are hardened, career criminals lacking in
moral fiber in all areas of life. In fact, that presumption is true in only
some instances. A great majority of convicts are 1<sup>st</sup> time offenders
who made an very poor decision in life and regret it deeply. Some are guilty of
being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Others were simply involved with
the wrong people, be it romantically or platonically. Then you have men like
myself, who have adopted some convict-like institutionalized behavior as a means
of survival – but also, maintain a firm grasp on reality and a very strong
moral compass. As far as the convict prison population is concerned, I will
forever be an anomaly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Gay Man: Nowadays saying that ‘I
sleep with and am attracted to the same sex’ works, but there is a lot more to
the inner workings of being a gay man. The basic stereotype, I believe, is that
we all well groomed, fashion forward, effeminate and outspoken. The truth is
that the gay community has a number of sub categories such as bears, twinks,
leather men, body worshipers, muscle heads etc.. A lot of gay men try to fit
into one of these categories and it works for them. It has become apparent to
me however, that I do not easily fit into any of them. If I don’t, then I
believe it is safe to say that there are many other gay men who do not as well.
Somehow, I have bits and pieces of all these categories within me, but I have
no idea what it all means. I am pretty meticulous about my grooming but I do
have body and facial hair most of the time. I am strong and masculine in my
everyday life, but can also be submissive in my private life when called upon.
I have worn a harness of two in my day and I do take pride in staying in great
physical shape. I also play sports, enjoy the outdoors, getting dirty and a
slew of other things that are not typically associated with the gay community.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Man of Color: It took a very long
time for me to stop caring about whether I was seen as a Black or White man. Unfortunately,
I have never been accepted entirely by either the Black or White communities.
The reasons may seem trivial, but they are real and they continue to happen to
most people of mixed race. I have never fit a stereotype of any particular race
or ethnic community and that fact became very clear to me when I came into the
prison system. I am not Black enough…I have swagger but it comes from
confidence rather than from being a Black man. I am not at all interested in
Rap or Hip Hop music and lean toward alternative music instead. The Ebonic
language is foreign to me most of the time. Racially, my differences, the
reasons that I do not easily fit into a category, are the most prevalent. They
were also the most tough for me to swallow. Now that I have embraced how I am
different and have become proud of it, I can say with confidence that referring
to myself as “swirly”, doesn’t bother me a bit</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Jew: Stereotypically, people
categorize Jews as being thrifty, large nosed, intelligent, deserving and, for
the most part, Caucasian. Some only recognize the Orthodox versus the Secular
Jews and that is their prerogative. There are however, a great many converts to Judaism as
well. Madonna and Amare Studemeire have both converted, to name a couple. They
believe in what works for them, for their own faith. I do the same and I am
proud of it. I do not need to shout it out loud it to the world for validation but rather,
I will tell people, when solicited, about it. I share it with them with pride
because it is what makes sense to me and, it’s what I believe.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You see, I am all of these things, and
they make up me as a human being. I am not just a convict, a gay man, a person
of color or a Jew. I am proud to not be categorized into a box.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";">I am proud to be just me.</span></b></span></h2>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-59052773181778586072015-04-25T04:23:00.001-07:002015-04-25T04:36:17.176-07:00’50 Shades of Gay’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Saturday, March 28, 2015</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was 10 years old the 1<sup>st</sup>
time I looked into in a gay bar.</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My mom and I were walking down Castro
Street in San Francisco and doing some boutique shopping. It was a beautiful
afternoon. Because the various bars were beginning to get populated, I assume it
was probably around happy hour. I recall seeing this gigantic black man
standing outside of a door wearing jeans, and what I now know to be a leather harness.
His torso looked like a double black diamond alpine ski trail. Loud music was
pumping out from inside and I kept seeing bright flashes of color. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At some point, I
wiggled free from mom, jogged up to the door and asked the big guy out front if
I could look inside. He smiled a brilliantly warm face back to me and said ‘all
right’. He picked me up so I could look into the windows and I saw huge women
dancing about on a stage. It looked fun, and I remember wondering why they were so
big. The man put me down in front of my mom who had finally caught up to me.
She thanked him and he told me that one day, I would be allowed to go inside if
I wanted to. I’d only have to wait about 10 more years. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That club was the
<a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-pendulum-san-francisco" target="_blank">Pendulum</a> and it will serve a purpose in my life forever.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As the years passed by I would poke
and prod my mom’s gay friends about certain things and began to understand the
diverse differences among the gay community. Keep in mind that my mom’s gay
friends were RN’s and physicians. They had accomplished great things in their
lives with their careers. Still though, when it came to their definition of ‘gay’,
they had divided themselves up. The 1<sup>st</sup> groups I learned about were
the “Bears” and the “Twinks”. Since those definitions were based primarily on
physicality, it was easy to understand. But even though they were in distinctly
different categories, they still socialized together and it wasn’t ever a
situation to which there was an ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">us</i>’
vs. ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i>’.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am certain many will frown upon
this, but by the age of 16, I had a fake ID and was hitting the gay clubs whenever
possible. I never had sex with anyone, and I didn’t drink alcohol. I would
simply dance and absorb the sense of belonging that I felt. It was like being
free. Soon, I realized that some bars and clubs tailored themselves
specifically to certain lifestyles within the gay community. I discovered that
I was most comfortable within the leather and sports themed gay bars. Those
establishments were filled with jocks and body worshipers. That experience
helped me to realize and understand who I was.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">By the time I was 18, I was DJing at
one of the hottest gay bars in Scottsdale. It was a jock bar and I had
developed good friendships with the staff and owners there. I was very in tune with
all that was going on as far as drug use and prostitution. These were things
that were also happening at straight clubs, but I never liked the way it
looked, specifically, I never liked the way it made the gay community look. For
me, my friends learned early on to never pass the marijuana to me because it
would put me to sleep instantly. Since I love my sleep, cocaine or crystal meth
were absolutely unappealing to me. So, if a lot of drug use was occurring around
me, I simply accepted it subconsciously and continued to have my own version of
a good time. I was still very young and naïve, but I was evolving quickly at
the same time.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The one thing I remember most however,
was the sense of belonging and camaraderie, It didn’t matter what lifestyle
within the LGBTQ community you represented, you were accepted. More than that –
you were supported. I am certain that there was judgment, cattiness and bad
behavior amongst some, but I was afforded the privilege of not having to
associate with those people.</span></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today, at 34 years of age, I have a decidedly
different outlook on the LGBTQ community. Most importantly however, <u><b>I miss them</b></u>. I miss
the feeling of belonging because I have been the odd man out in prison for so
many years.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In my experience, those from the LGBTQ
community who come into the prison system are perhaps more damaged, more lost
than most. Many of them are HIV positive, have incredibly high levels of dug
addiction and are willing to do just about anything for a dollar. It is sad and
upsetting. The majority adopt female names regardless of the fact that there is
nothing even remotely feminine about them.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In the beginning of my incarceration,
I used to try to befriend other gays in prison, but it truly never worked out. I
was quick to discover that many of them simply wanted me to be their financial
supporter. Additionally, because I knew how to fight and defend myself, they
also wanted me to act as their protector. (Unfortunately, most of them do not
exactly abide by the rules willingly...) So, for my own sanity, I began to
retreat from them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Soon enough, many of the gays began to
view me as a threat and, as time passed, that sentiment was spread throughout
the prison system. It was clear to me that because I presented myself as a ‘man’,
because I was sober and didn’t fool around with other inmates, that I was
somehow projecting myself as ”better” than them. In response, I began to judge
and discriminate against them because I believe that their behavior was creating
the basis for widespread homophobia in prison. Candidly, their drug use,
behavior and promiscuity in this environment, embarrassed me as a gay man.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The very idea that I do not want to
chance befriending any other gays I come in contact with - speaks volumes. I can’t
say that all gay men in prison are like this, because I know that surely cannot
be true. I simply wish that some of the ones here, in the prisons I have been
at, would carry themselves better, or at least try to better themselves. This
experience, when it comes to prison, has made me sad and very frustrated as a
gay man.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I suppose, at the end of the day, that
we, as human beings, are all intrinsically different. Because of our varying
orientations, we will not always agree with how we choose to lead our
individual lives. I mean, I realize that I am ‘David’, and yes, I am a gay man.
That’s all I can be and work on - because the other various shades of gay, well
I can’t let that affect me. ‘</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not in prison anyway…</span></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnS00dN4Mria8TtHIwnl8OxAizmSJgxr11egM8sPxiJyEzmzXdQP2bgqswADh8_b31KLd-qiUdRdxFDLX3qVrmdOHlzCijEnevAeX8m95j7FCy4Zbz5VBuq_O85I30dq99KwTn9abjxGU/s1600/odd+man+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnS00dN4Mria8TtHIwnl8OxAizmSJgxr11egM8sPxiJyEzmzXdQP2bgqswADh8_b31KLd-qiUdRdxFDLX3qVrmdOHlzCijEnevAeX8m95j7FCy4Zbz5VBuq_O85I30dq99KwTn9abjxGU/s1600/odd+man+out.jpg" height="640" width="318" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Related Posts:</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2015/02/alternative-lifestyles-and-correctional.html">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2015/02/alternative-lifestyles-and-correctional.html</a></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2014/01/being-gay-in-prison-is-it-as.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2014/01/being-gay-in-prison-is-it-as.html</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/09/last-week-homosexual-was-brought-to-yard.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/09/last-week-homosexual-was-brought-to-yard.html</span></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/10/traitor-homosexuals-in-prison-for.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/10/traitor-homosexuals-in-prison-for.html</span></a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-69905378187129589152015-04-11T07:08:00.002-07:002015-04-11T07:20:13.197-07:00‘The Character of People’<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, March 15, 2015</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIoAu8W9UbqmdaBT7lUDVMQrGiX75zpxTafyT35FqOlzbo7XwAZno1fJn0J9omI6dNrIxdyIO82_BVKkUkQ1EF0QczET34ZbA9XywGC4OcYvS3HEyumlIzqaDRwRDmURm3kInOXZj-lg8/s1600/judging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIoAu8W9UbqmdaBT7lUDVMQrGiX75zpxTafyT35FqOlzbo7XwAZno1fJn0J9omI6dNrIxdyIO82_BVKkUkQ1EF0QczET34ZbA9XywGC4OcYvS3HEyumlIzqaDRwRDmURm3kInOXZj-lg8/s1600/judging.jpg" height="309" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I spent the entire day yesterday at
visit with Kevin and it was a really good day. We sat outside, being that the
weather was beautiful, and casually discussed a great many topics. At some
point, he mentioned that he had noticed that I was speaking of certain
affiliates here less and less. He was very curious as to why that was. My
answer, as complicated and perhaps even judgmental as it goes, was this: The
more time that I spend in prison, the older I become and the less I want to
associate with the people around me. For some reason, their negative character
traits have become so increasingly clear and apparent to me that I simply
choose to have no association with them, if at all.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Somehow, (and mind you, I hate to
admit this…) I have become incredibly judgmental toward certain character
traits within people. I think many of us are this way, but it’s just so
difficult to really admit it. It’s easier for all of us to simply state how we
are not judgmental. Personally, I think its critical when selecting various friends
and associates, but you may of course, disagree with me on that. There will
always be things that are important to me that may not be important to the next
person. And that’s okay. In fact, I readily accept that. Similarly, there are
things that are really inconsequential to me that may e very important to
another person.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In my opinion, these are the most
prevalent negative character traits of an inmate in prison. (There are
exceptions, but the following list most certainly represents a sizeable amount
of the prison population.)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">REBELLIOUS</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A lot of guys, still after being here
for years, refuse to accept any type of authority. They remain only devoted to
themselves and can be very disloyal.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">DISHONEST/DECEITFUL</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Everyone lies, both in and out of
prison. Some lies are mundane and unimportant. Others can be very damaging and
harmful. In prison, it can be life threatening. The levels of deceit that some
of these guys go to accomplish what they want is scary. Because they do so, I
realize that there are no boundaries with these men.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">UNKIND/UNCARING/CRUEL/MEAN</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I believe that this behavior is
conscious and that we, as humans, should be kind to one another. Unfortunately,
I have witnessed cruel and unkind behavior from one person to another even
before coming to prison. Within my stay here though, I have been hard pressed
to witness any authentic act of kindness from most inmates.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">DIRECTED BY EXTERNALS</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I cannot speak for everyone, but I don’t
see how allowing oneself to be manipulated by other things or other people can
be a positive thing. To me, it is a clear cut sign of insecurity and weakness.
When I meet people like this, (and there are many here in prison) I become very
nervous. Is it so hard to self direct your own life?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">BLAMES OTHERS</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is the last, but worst item on my
list. I suppose that because it hits home in such a way that I judge people the
most on it. I myself used to blame everyone for everything in my life. All the
while, I never stopped to look in my own mirror. It’s a tough thing to be
accountable and responsible but, we need to be in order to evolve, grow and
better ourselves. If we are unable to do that, then what’s the point of living
a life in which we try to be productive?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is a certain amount of leeway
that needs to be afforded to men in prison however, and I am the first to say
that this life is <b>NOT</b> easy, in any way. What bothers me is that so few have any
desire to better themselves, to change, or at least, be accountable. Instead,
the majority of inmates come into prison to pick up new negative character
traits and/or habits. It is very disturbing when you look at the big picture.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look – no one is perfect. I am
certainly far from it but, I do judge just as others judge me. I am not
entirely sure if it is something to be seen as a weakness, or a negative for
me, but it has certainly evolved over the time I have been in prison. At the
moment, I am not too sure if there any way of getting around that.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-8377455718690611692015-03-31T17:59:00.000-07:002015-04-01T02:21:40.102-07:00‘My Current Play List’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, March 22, 2015</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">People are always interested in the
type of music that I listen to. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I
have my headphones on 90% of the day and my CD player on my hip. (There are no
MP3’s here…) Still, I realize that music is a way of telling a lot about a
person. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My current CD collection stretches
pretty far in terms of decade and genre, so I have no idea what you might ascertain from
it, but here it is nonetheless. </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Beyonce</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jay-Z</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Macklemore & Ryan Lewis</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Alice Smith</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Katy Perry</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Deadmau5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Robin Thicke</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Myley Cyrus</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Calvin Harris</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jennifer Lopez</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Shakira</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Claudia Lette (Brazilian Beyonce')</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nick Jonas</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sam Smith</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Ariana Grande</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Chris Brown</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Jessie J</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nicky Minaj</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tamar Braxton</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Toni Braxton</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Kesha Cole</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Sade</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Selena Gomez</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Maxwell</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Donnel James</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mark Ronson</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Pharrel</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Izzy Azalea</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Azealia Banks</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tyga</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Sia</span></b></span></div>
<span style="color: magenta;"><b>
</b></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Clean Bandit</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Ricky Martin</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Trey Sangz</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tamia</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Deborah Cox</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nina Simone</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Patti Smith</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Janis Joplin</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Etta James</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Kelly Price</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Gap Band</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Commodores</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Earth Wind & Fire</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Patti Labelle</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Anita Baker</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Luther Vandross</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Deneice Williams</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sylvester</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Mumford & Sons</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Fun</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Morcheeba</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lilly Allen</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Adele</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Luke Bryan</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Little Big Town</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Florida/Georgia State Line</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Swing Out Sister</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Romeo Santos</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jenni Rivera</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lorde</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Icona Pop</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Scissor Sisters</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Michael Buble</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lady Gaga</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*Kings of Leon</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There you have it: My incredibly diverse taste in music. I have placed an * by those artists that have become my
favorites. I am always open to new recommendations though so feel free to let
me know if you have some suggestions!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0la5Q6fWEHTWjyXSQKEncONJwijvJOm00U6LTMbb5u6gZOwAgcozZg-_DJUzv8XXplKaJA9HRo6_FMT76UWng79b7NNFWYVaupEi12UzhLaZi0BXTmLDMRXtLfo6kJ21VqyQYMZP9vrs/s1600/music.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0la5Q6fWEHTWjyXSQKEncONJwijvJOm00U6LTMbb5u6gZOwAgcozZg-_DJUzv8XXplKaJA9HRo6_FMT76UWng79b7NNFWYVaupEi12UzhLaZi0BXTmLDMRXtLfo6kJ21VqyQYMZP9vrs/s1600/music.jpg" height="347" width="640" /></a></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-18818924379769457372015-03-01T04:52:00.001-08:002015-03-01T04:55:08.368-08:00‘Just another food visit’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, February 22, 2015</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqx_2kWip1O0mocYV9z7hy_a1Ta2alHL1x3Q4a0l1PduuH8xLIP4Yge0OJWF8MfQ3TF0IT0BppNl9SlfqJ0i7QJatPWMMUHm7g_dSgcd5JMCvAMnjNrg5RW0sDg5oEDVDP-SwqUDMmltA/s1600/bon-appetit-images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqx_2kWip1O0mocYV9z7hy_a1Ta2alHL1x3Q4a0l1PduuH8xLIP4Yge0OJWF8MfQ3TF0IT0BppNl9SlfqJ0i7QJatPWMMUHm7g_dSgcd5JMCvAMnjNrg5RW0sDg5oEDVDP-SwqUDMmltA/s1600/bon-appetit-images.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It is 4:00 AM here in Florence and I’m
awake, coffee by my side. My goal was to slowly go through some questions that
I have received by readers but instead, I have gotten distracted in thinking
about the enormous amount of food mom will be bringing me today during our
“food visit”. (For those unfamiliar, the prison facility designates certain
days of the year where visitors are allowed to bring in more healthy, and tasty
– food offerings.)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since a lot of people are curious as
to what she brings… The menu for today’s food visit is below:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">BREAKFAST</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Starbucks coffee</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Whipped cream coffee topping with
Grand Marnier flavoring</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Homemade banana pancakes with Nutella</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Homemade Pan Perdu (Stuffed French
toast with marmalade and cream cheese)</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sausage Links & Bacon</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">LUNCH</span></b></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Spinach salad with fried calamari, red
onion and cherry tomatoes</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cheesy garlic bread</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bacon wrapped scallops</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Homemade lobster macaroni n’ cheese</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">DESERT</span></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3PxX0ujEFO6UFxbtMknZ4aZxVpzoIH01W45xdElcCBkH7J2ykCBqotgs4Trl6MTxC6iuKKe9V6z8vnLTZR2cDmiFZASMqdv3aINP7TWa7nJuDdbUc-84W4Zib8XX1UwGhZEgwjrZwXp0/s1600/sign-29205_640.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3PxX0ujEFO6UFxbtMknZ4aZxVpzoIH01W45xdElcCBkH7J2ykCBqotgs4Trl6MTxC6iuKKe9V6z8vnLTZR2cDmiFZASMqdv3aINP7TWa7nJuDdbUc-84W4Zib8XX1UwGhZEgwjrZwXp0/s1600/sign-29205_640.png" height="395" width="400" /> </a></div>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">THANKS MOM! </span></span></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-33134423988660069662015-03-01T04:47:00.002-08:002015-04-01T01:09:30.027-07:00‘The reality of closing doors’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Saturday, February 21, 2015</span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have only loved one man romantically
in my life, Mark. I loved him then and I love him now – only in a different
way. (At least I tell myself that) I mean, a man in my position cannot maintain
a healthy relationship from here – even if I tried. Being with Mark – again – was
a possibility a few years back, but I thought it best not to let history repeat
itself. He may be the same Mark that I fell in love with all those years ago,
but today, I am a <i>very</i> different David.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No matter how many times I have
contemplated it, Mark + David simply doesn’t add up.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In acknowledging that, our friendship
grew exponentially with me as an adult. What we have now, is healthy, rewarding
and ‘safe’. When he visits, the energy is positive. Yes, I still find him
attractive but that is not generated from my loins, but rather, an ephemeral
place. When we speak on the phone, the conversation is interesting, educating
and jovial. I look forward to the sound of his voice and the way he makes me
focus on the bigger picture of life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This past week, I learned that his
boyfriend will be moving into his home. I was congratulatory, excited even,
because Mark deserves to be loved, and well, ‘happy’. It’s something that I want
for him and yet later on that evening, I cried for over 30 minutes in the
shower.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Reigning in my emotions was difficult
because I couldn’t assess the situation clearly. Was I jealous? Angry? Sad? If
I was… then why? It made me feel incredibly selfish and immature. Then I
realized why I was having these emotions: a door was closing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Life is continuing and people are
growing and evolving. I am doing the same, but – in here. I’m in here, in this
place and I subconsciously do not want any doors to close. My heart and soul
are simply not ready for that. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Unfortunately, life doesn’t much care about any
of that.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj77xL-PujbMrQf8m3Ys7VqG3Ek-3akGnDLY9yqAe1z0dmIaYMV1p4H6It9cihKu5CcxeN75o5751Y79qC4k7PFtAt4XNkRWF67WvWpqCW1mCuoXwGTcVYeHCLsobf0KS_Cu8ABbjUixyk/s1600/lost_love1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj77xL-PujbMrQf8m3Ys7VqG3Ek-3akGnDLY9yqAe1z0dmIaYMV1p4H6It9cihKu5CcxeN75o5751Y79qC4k7PFtAt4XNkRWF67WvWpqCW1mCuoXwGTcVYeHCLsobf0KS_Cu8ABbjUixyk/s1600/lost_love1.jpg" height="498" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-33463500349574696902015-02-28T12:21:00.000-08:002015-02-28T12:21:01.220-08:00‘Alternative Lifestyles and Correctional Officers’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, February 15, 2015</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuJxqQKK3kXYftZs3nFYrUfOMLzmEMNhiLZL2KoUc5RO_l2nRIsbE2Lu8UigOm6iEjLHP6OVlIJx6HNCjRnyGYWZK2jW5RNbmLPxqgrRkeAgXEikYKBS8XV02lk0yCalhNG7fhTld3nGU/s1600/feature1-7_11-20-14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuJxqQKK3kXYftZs3nFYrUfOMLzmEMNhiLZL2KoUc5RO_l2nRIsbE2Lu8UigOm6iEjLHP6OVlIJx6HNCjRnyGYWZK2jW5RNbmLPxqgrRkeAgXEikYKBS8XV02lk0yCalhNG7fhTld3nGU/s1600/feature1-7_11-20-14.jpg" height="356" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The politically correct term for the
LGBT community within a prison facility is ‘Alternative Lifestyle’. I have to
tell you that I HATE that title. I always have and always will. To say that I
am classified as an ‘Alternative Lifestyle; makes me feel as if I have somehow
chosen this way of life rather than simply being the gay man that I am. It’s an
unfortunate truth that I alone will never be able to change that and so, I have
learned to swallow a certain amount of pride and simply accept it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One would think, as a gay man, that
all gay men would be a united front within the correctional system. I have
touched on this topic previously (see related blog entries below) and explained
that we are not in fact united. In fact, we go so far as to divide, segregate
and ‘click up’ into our own distinct sub categories. As a reminder to those of
you who have not been following this blog since the inception, these are the
categories of the ‘Alternative Lifestyles’ in prison:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: magenta;">Gay Men</span> </b></span></span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span></span>Guys who work out, excel at sports. Have masculine/heterosexual
mannerisms and are generally accepted by the ‘straight’ male inmates without
issue. They tend to not associate with anyone in the LGBT community in prison.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Gay Boys </b></span></span></span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span></span>Guys who are effeminate and go out of their way to present
themselves as ‘pretty’. They tend to wear form fitting clothing and like to
have trysts whenever possible. They are struggling to find their niche of
acceptance.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: magenta;">Queens</span> </b></span></span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span></span>Guys who present themselves as female and take on pseudo
female nicknames such as “cocoa”, “Asia”, “Hollywood”, “Candy”, etc. They are a
force to be reckoned with and aggressive when travelling in packs. They are
comical and entertaining to watch amd I mean that in a very heartfelt way.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Chicks</b></span></span></span><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></span></span></span> Guys
who are physically transitioning into females. They have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>had hormone therapy, implants, injections of
Botox and fillers. Since they are not complete in their gender reassignment and
still have male genitalia, they are housed with men in general population. In
my 13 years, I have only met one Chik and she was only on the yard for a few
weeks before being moved. She received multiple disciplinary infractions and
was reassigned elsewhere. Beyond that, she was treated well by both inmates and
staff.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, now that you have a baseline, I
can address the question of what the dynamic is between correctional officers
and the ‘Alternative Lifestyle’ population.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am not certain what is assumed, but
I am here to say that I have never had any issue with staff because of my
sexuality. I think, and I can only say this because of the type of questions I
receive on this topic, that the public speculation is that gay men are treated
terribly by the officers. I have never personally witnessed that behavior. I
have seem both officers and the administration personnel go out of their way to
ensure safety and comfort for the gay community in prison.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I think that somehow there is a cloud
of misrepresentation regarding LGBT inmates and officers. The general, free
population hears horror stories of what it is like to be gay in prison. While
many of those stories may be true, it is typically not because of the officers,
but rather, the fellow inmates. The officers, (at least the ones I have known)
treat gay inmates like everyone else – which is a good thing. If nothing else,
perhaps I can in this blog post, clear up that misconception for you.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The inmate on inmate issues will
forever be present and it really is about the “leader” vs. the “follower” in here.
The majority of inmates are followers and they are this way in hopes of being
accepted and for their own survival. The leaders are typically narrow minded,
and like true politicians, tend to forget the bigger picture. Unfortunately,
they do not forgo their own personal beliefs in order to create peace and order
among the greater population. If you are curious as to where I stand in this
whole mess, well bear this in mind; I have previously been a ‘leader’ (or as
they call them in prison: a “Head”). The only reason I was successful in it was
because I knew the right people and that I am considerably more intelligent
than many of the other inmates. That said, I was able to lead a lot of “thirsty
people to water”, in a manner of speaking. What I failed to realize was he huge
amount of energy it took from me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today, I am an independent. I’m just
DAVID . My reputation is pretty solid and because of my prison history, nobody
can really tell me what to do. For clarification, I categorize myself into the
‘Gay Men; group. I am guilty in that I do not really associate with anyone else
in the GLBT community we are all very different in how we live day to day.
Sadly it is also about survival and reputation. It doesn’t make me feel good,
but it is what it is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Consequently, the
LGBT community does not care for me or for that matter, any of the other Gay
men. I gather that they feel since we do not socialize with them, that we
somehow think we are better than them. Perhaps they presume we do not care
about them. Simply put, the fact is that we have chosen different paths in how
we serve our prison time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Truthfully, after further analysis,
the larger LGBT community may well be stronger than the Gay Men simply because
they stand tall exactly as they are. Gay Men, are more accepted by everyone,
but perhaps on different terms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There will never be any way to fix
this. It will go on forever – just as it does outside these walls. It is our
own fault and we have no one to blame but ourselves. The only thing we have in
common is the fact that we continue to be misunderstood. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Related Posts: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2014/01/being-gay-in-prison-is-it-as.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2014/01/being-gay-in-prison-is-it-as.html</span></a><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/09/last-week-homosexual-was-brought-to-yard.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/09/last-week-homosexual-was-brought-to-yard.html</span></a><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/10/traitor-homosexuals-in-prison-for.html"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">http://trappedinaz.blogspot.com/2012/10/traitor-homosexuals-in-prison-for.html</span></a><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-7133818897377407622015-02-28T12:10:00.001-08:002015-03-03T04:10:30.978-08:00‘An Open Letter to Dan Savage’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Sunday, February 15, 2015</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Dear Dan,</span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am embarrassed to say that up until
today, I had never heard of you or your column. You see, I am incarcerated and,
as you might imagine, I have very limited access to many things going on
outside of these walls. I have no access to the internet. (This blog is managed
on my behalf, by a close friend who acts as my blog master.) </span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Today however, I awoke to your
interview on CBS Sunday morning. I was instantly intrigued, and with that, came
the motivation to write this blog entry. I realize there is a huge possibility
that you may never read it, but still, here I am, pen in hand.</span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You see, it is not every day that
someone can cause me to question my own beliefs. I am pretty confident in how I
have come to view the world, religion, sex and relationships. I am so sure of
myself that I have blogged about there things. Like you, I have even given
advice when solicited for it. I like to think I am a forward thinker and that I
am open minded. I have never fit into a ‘box’ and have never wanted to. Being a
bi racial, gay, Jewish man has always set me apart from most, and I embrace the
fact that I am different. There are things however that would make me come
across as traditional, specifically, the view I hold on relationships. </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Your segment on TV this morning was
structured around your own view of relationships and with that, why you feel
the way you do.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Monogomish” was the term you use to
describe your own marriage. At first, I was surprised and put off by it because
emotionally I may be in denial when it comes to realistic monogamy. Don’t get
me wrong…I want to be monogamous and believe that I can be. If my partner and I
do choose to sleep with someone else together in a ménage a trios, or
independently, what happens to that commitment to one another? </span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The way you explained it was so
eloquent and genuine. You are absolutely accurate in saying that when two
people commit, they choose to be monogamous. But that doesn’t mean that they
would never think about having sex with someone else. I think that, even the
most committed of couples think about sex with other people and likely may not
want to admit that to one another.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For me, I believe that if my partner
had sex with someone else, I would likely want to discuss it, but I may
honestly say that it wouldn’t be a relationship-ender for me. Perhaps that fact
alone means I have evolved a bit in the relationship category. I don’t know. We
are human beings and we make mistakes, etc.. I am a true poster child of what
not to do, but that’s life.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">At this point, I can tell you that I
have a profound respect for your openness and for living your life as
authentically as you can. Thank you for that and know that, if nothing else,
your segment reached someone in a very unlikely place.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></i></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">David</span></i></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-22841002063353994712015-02-28T12:03:00.003-08:002015-02-28T12:32:30.018-08:00‘Beautiful Men, Different Reasons’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidyojWsA-8s-3ZdnGBTADtWoxHTI343624Zq-vPOoB3JhSduUTwrMtAjzJXsIDIOAEoch4cfpu4u6X9UEmzfca_FYCpxF_H_-cHvHHtS2NimoZeWXPiR2LpGnDj7rWX_lS_CVejYgzt74/s1600/masculinity-word-association1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidyojWsA-8s-3ZdnGBTADtWoxHTI343624Zq-vPOoB3JhSduUTwrMtAjzJXsIDIOAEoch4cfpu4u6X9UEmzfca_FYCpxF_H_-cHvHHtS2NimoZeWXPiR2LpGnDj7rWX_lS_CVejYgzt74/s1600/masculinity-word-association1.png" height="408" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You may feel that as a gay man, I am a
connoisseur of men. That may be true when it comes to eyeing the male body in
its natural state, however I see beauty in a variety of ways. It is not always
driven by my loins or a fantasy of ‘what ifs’. I have found that over time, I
have matured and with that, so too has my palate. The following are some of the
men whom I find beautiful and intriguing. I am certain that a few of these men
may surprise you, but I hope that you can find a mutual appreciate for my
reasoning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nick Denton, Founder of <span style="color: cyan;"><a href="http://gawker.com/" target="_blank">‘Gawker’</a></span> </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I saw him speak on TV and he
captivated me immediately. I was unaware of his sexual orientation at the time
but I loved his sense of realness. He is authentic and humble while still
coming across as genius. The man is a risk take and has accomplished great
things. I would love to sit with him over coffee one day and just pick his
brain. The fact that he is open about his marriage to actor Derrence Washington
is only a bonus in my eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Stephen Bishop, Athlete turned actor.
(Currently plays opposite Gabriel Union on the hit show ‘Being Mary Jane’)</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Physically, I have to say, this man is
A++, however he absolutely much deeper than his appearance. He is a thinker and
committed to following his gut in life, love and career. He is, without a
doubt, the closest to what I would consider to be a ‘spiritual man’. For him,
it is clear that he has allowed the serendipitous events of life to lead him in
his journey and I applaud him for that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dominic Corbisiere, Chef, US Navy Man
and Grandfather</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He is probably the most influential
man in my life. He was an Italian immigrant in every way. As the consummate
lady’s man, he could work a room like no other. He was a man of great
conviction and lived his life with respect to what is right versus wrong. He
taught me to love and to speak through food. In life, he always stayed true
even in the ups and downs. I wish I had his peace of mind and ability to always
remain calm.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Gio Benetez, ABC New Correspondent</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I followed him in the Miami area before
he made it ‘big’. He is kind, patient, and has a raw appreciation for the life
he has made for himself. There is nothing “celebrity” about him and that speaks
volumes about who he is as a man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Alan Comming, Actor, Activist, Author</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In a way, I would have put him 1<sup>st</sup>
on my list, but I am not compiling a “best to least best” list here. I have
been a fan of his since he was beginning on stage. Slowly he has given us the privilege
of learning more about him and in that, I have found many similarities in how
we think. He has gone through many changes in life and come out on top. He
inspires me to keep my head up and continue on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jason Collins, Athlete, Activist</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There have been others before him who have
come out as a gay man, and many more will follow. For me, Jason had a different
challenge. He was not only a black man, but he was an active, professional
athlete. For as long as I live, I will forever remember his ‘coming out’ press
conference. I could tell that he was finally choosing himself over everything
else as he spoke. I felt it. His journey, at that moment, was so important for
Americans. Thank you Jason. You ROCK!!!<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Shawn T, Fitness Expert</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He doesn’t know this, but he was incredibly
influential in my personal decision to focus on fitness as an occupation. He
forced me to relate to him without even trying. He is bi-racial, gayu and
successful in a field that I hope to excel in. What’s awesome about him is that
in all of his successes, he has managed to maintain a sense of normalcy in his
life, yet he hasn’t ‘settled’. He makes me fight harder every day in achieving
what I want.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dyson Villarson, Student, Dreamer,
Friend</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The man has just as much, if not more,
drive and ambition than I do. He continues to make me pause and re-evaluate
life in terms of what I want and need versus that which other people want and
need for me. My appreciation for him has no bounds</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-27317664750730453392015-02-28T11:54:00.002-08:002015-02-28T11:54:59.544-08:00‘I am beginning to believe that procrastination is an epidemic’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thursday, February 5, 2015</span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzUzIeo0f3iA6bhIkiXJV-YU1KbFd52RG7lvdkMD-gWVclOfdSKeqgpcVKxsfZrCcL_byFGwdWEFLloNnKJQ2dxhAZ1K-DKoQWgqlLF8yh8ljHgGTExgVyGdL8riAy6Iy6ufB8TSrgVBk/s1600/procrastination.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzUzIeo0f3iA6bhIkiXJV-YU1KbFd52RG7lvdkMD-gWVclOfdSKeqgpcVKxsfZrCcL_byFGwdWEFLloNnKJQ2dxhAZ1K-DKoQWgqlLF8yh8ljHgGTExgVyGdL8riAy6Iy6ufB8TSrgVBk/s1600/procrastination.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sometimes you have to sit down, take a
deep breath, survey the proverbial land and get your bearings again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It becomes necessary to re-focus your lens
again, if you will. What is it that causes us to continue on – while actively
(and sometimes subconsciously) choosing to maneuver around the tasks that truly
deserve our more immediate attention? For me, more times than not, it is fear.
If that is the case for everyone else, I simply do not know.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is irony in the fact that so
many of us will gladly offer our time and energy to help other people deal with
their issues and address things in their lives. But when it comes to our own
“STUFF” however, it more often than not gets discussed and considered, and
nothing ever happens.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A year ago, I mentioned how incredibly
frustrating it was for me to sit by and watch the people I care most about,
actively choose to not take advantage of their lives, their choices etc..
Innocently, I hadn’t looked in the mirror. Mind you, I was taking control,
being productive and living each day as much as I could in this environment.
Still, there were things that I actively chose to ignore as well.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am not ignoring things now. I am
embracing everything… even the complex and awkward things. It’s incredibly
difficult to do – and it would be so easy to revert back to my ‘ignorance is
bliss’ state – but now, it is too late. Now I realize how many things went
unattended because of my own personal fear. I do not want to procrastinate
things in my life for the wrong reasons. Clearly, it doesn’t do me any good!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am penning this entry primarily for
those who are closest to me. We, as a familial unit have been making some very
big changes and I am hoping we can all stand back and agree, that we can’t stop
now. It would of course, be easy to do, but I don’t want to take the easy road
anymore.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I just hope that those of you who are
constant followers of this blog take these words to heart. Regardless of how
you choose to receive the message in this entry, it affects everyone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We as human beings, can always use
some motivation. I know I can.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-28665755848520425712015-02-28T11:48:00.002-08:002015-03-01T01:17:49.254-08:00‘How often do we do, or say something wrong and never even realize it?’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thursday, February 5, 2015</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT9XcRpivAvzjAlFw7KskR2c57f7QatPZMZ9KDS176bu3duC1dFsBHbquslSiSaZvzSqJxhNi7866OqHmRk1hnK7UipVaGcPZkcB-WJ8JeIc_sqvZ1I1FKu40sOJacdlqQzGSPE51bSHk/s1600/Hand-Written-Letter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT9XcRpivAvzjAlFw7KskR2c57f7QatPZMZ9KDS176bu3duC1dFsBHbquslSiSaZvzSqJxhNi7866OqHmRk1hnK7UipVaGcPZkcB-WJ8JeIc_sqvZ1I1FKu40sOJacdlqQzGSPE51bSHk/s1600/Hand-Written-Letter.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">By now, most of you are aware that I
have had a hell of an adventure when it come to pen pals and getting to know
someone through “snail mail”. I have had so many ‘come and go’ pen pals over
the years that I could literally write an entire novel about the experience.
One thing however, that remains constant with all of these writer’s diversity
is that they slowly fade, then disappear back into their own respective lives. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have discussed this many times with
Joey over the years. It is so easy to think that there must surely be something
‘wrong’ with these pen pals, when in fact, there may indeed be something wrong
with me! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A pattern of repeated behavior used to
be easily identifiable, but over time, I have changed. In the beginning, I was
obviously attempting to fill a void of intimacy and emotion. Acknowledging that
fact was difficult, because it made me feel weak and desperate. Once I pulled
in the reigns and began to get a grip, I began to focus my correspondence in
developing friendships. While it would start there, invariable, things would
escalate to a deeper level and I would – fall for it. My guess is that on the
other end, the reality of being involved with someone in prison would set in and
‘POOF’, they would disappear. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wound up pulling away from
corresponding with pen pals because nothing positive was resulting and more
often than not, I would feel like crap in the aftermath. When I finally decided
that it was time to reconnect with people, I chose to look at it in a new way.
I genuinely wanted to make some new friends, to keep things on a strictly
platonic level and to engage in some meaningful, ephemeral dialogues. My hopes
were dashed. Those efforts, failed as well.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The entire situation is so
disheartening. I admit that people these days are busy with life, work,
responsibilities etc.. I understand that completely. Still, the correspondence
has a tendency to fail once a true connection has been made (i.e. after months of
correspondence) and so, I cannot help but to wonder if it is me – rather than
them?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Have you ever tried to scrutinize your
own behavior?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It is very difficult because you do
not want to be too easy or too hard on yourself. That in mind, I have no idea
if it was me or not who caused the breakdown of these pen pal engagements. In
the absence of knowing, I am left with no other alternative that to assume
that, it must be me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Change for most, is hard. Change when
you don’t know what you need to change… well, that is almost impossible. I am
open to ideas, thoughts and criticisms. If you, the reader, have anything to
say, them please feel free to comment here – or drop me a line. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-19356989558361510522015-02-07T14:37:00.000-08:002015-02-08T04:18:24.495-08:00‘A Current Prison Assessment’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Friday, January 30, 2015</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UwwsrePLH7Hi7uWnDL2wb83KSaEGJbNZfzdoFAPPlaYQW5HzEscz6-oosyX9YUE80f-KuctBsmeIGfTWDZyD0fRu8bpsADJC8kcQ7Ycs8QgArjeOoWxKmEDKBaN980-4rYzETBOLm1k/s1600/prison_life_stories_193512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UwwsrePLH7Hi7uWnDL2wb83KSaEGJbNZfzdoFAPPlaYQW5HzEscz6-oosyX9YUE80f-KuctBsmeIGfTWDZyD0fRu8bpsADJC8kcQ7Ycs8QgArjeOoWxKmEDKBaN980-4rYzETBOLm1k/s1600/prison_life_stories_193512.jpg" height="400" width="296" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Many have inquired as to why I have
not written much about the particular prison unit that I am now on. Perhaps
they were expecting daily journal entries of all the goings on here… I suspect
that they are genuinely curious. Whatever the case may be, I have had many
reasons – and I doubt that you can believe that the biggest one is that <i><b>this is
the best prison yard I have ever been on</b>.</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As you absorb that one statement,
remember that I had become completely institutionalized within the more
hardened ‘gladiator school’ type of prison. I am now immune to rampant drug
use, racism, religious prejudice, violence, murder and a string of many other
horrible things. Coming to a minimum yard was nerve wracking because I perceived that there would be a greater lack of respect, lack of discipline, structure etc. I was not
exactly sure how I would react and adjust to all of that. I believed, (at least
I convinced myself) that being on a higher yard, with more structure, would be
best for me. This was not necessarily because I needed the structure, but
rather, because most other inmates do - and that made my life easier.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have struggled internally about how
I truly feel living here at North Unit, Florence Arizona. My honest assessment
is that I like it here… for as much as a person can ‘like’ a prison.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The inmate population here is defined
by 3 primary groups:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Chronic Care</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These men suffer
from Alzheimer’s, kidney failure (Dialysis), liver disease and a multitude of
other medical issues. The medical relationship to this yard is intense and the
administration is very proactive at working toward providing the most
comfortable living environment for inmates in a seriously ill state of life</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">"Downhillers"</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(My group of
inmates) These men have been in prison for a long time (years and years…) They
are on the downhill slope of their sentence and doing all they can to remain
busy and productive. Everything we do in our basic day to day activities has
some type of correlation to the release date and – the real world.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Knuckleheads</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These are the
idiots who are repeat offenders of nuisance charges and cannot seem to get
their lives together. Unfortunately they believe that this is as bad as it gets
and it actually – it is the best. It is very sad and unfortunate.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The staff here, are all pretty great.
Perhaps it’s just me and the fact that I know how to act like an adult and know
how to communicate. But I have yet to have any incident or disagreement with
any of the staff. At the end of the day, I have nothing but good, productive
experiences with them. I don’t know why but there doesn’t seem to be a chip on
their shoulders and they know how to deal with situations accordingly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The officer I work for has been
completely vested in the department since 1986 and is strict, meticulous, and
hard working. Thankfully, my ethnicity and sexual orientation are inconsequential
to her. She is fair and very understanding. Running mail and property for 1,100 inmates is beyond challenging but somehow, it gets done professionally and
without issue. For me, it is a positive experience as it closely depicts a real
life job experience. That is something that I genuinely appreciate and am
thankful for because it continues to keep focused on my end game.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Yard</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This facility is very large and is actually
divided into 3 individual smaller yards. When an inmate arrives, they begin on
Yard 3 until they find a job. This is a working yard so almost everyone has some
form of employment. Depending on the job you receive or interview for, dictates
whether you will be moved to Yard 1 or Yard 2. Each of the yards has working
kitchens and incredibly organized daily operations because of the amount of inmate
movement here. It is truly like a little city.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Personally the yard operations are
well suited for me. My schedule at work gives me a good amount of off time to manage
my affairs and partake in visitations on the weekends. It is consistent and it
works for me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hopefully this gives you a better, clearer
understanding of why I haven’t downloaded much about my current prison unit.
There is nothing bad or scandalous to report. My life here is as good as it can
be for someone who is in prison. Obviously a lot of that is simply mindset and
determination but it is a cohesive situation right now. It’s easier for me to
be positive ad productive on a unit like this one.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today, as I look ahead, I have only
one more goal to accomplish before I am released. Mom will be 100% relocated to
Boston this year and when that happens, I am going to try my best to become
certified as a fireman and work with the wilderness Fire Crew. It is an amazing
opportunity offered here and I think I would be really successful at it. The
current team members and crew supervisor are great and I have a good rapport
with everyone involved. That said, I think it would be my last and final goal
in prison.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-50702914618749670632015-02-07T14:31:00.001-08:002015-02-08T04:25:09.993-08:00‘Sexual Fulfillment in Relationships’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Monday, January 26, 2015</span><br />
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a03L4IbNuZ1jfVB9n_XrY8HJ_FcZx_uU0jhbLgccpUA3Qa5Kw7kC8VkryEnB86WYNW0Al6gfUF6YX9y8lhRqiKuOwyMyqj-QP6v72nbYgMNZODAX3lx8GoQQnUgUA5DjtX1CFp-2W7I/s1600/RKIMAGE2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a03L4IbNuZ1jfVB9n_XrY8HJ_FcZx_uU0jhbLgccpUA3Qa5Kw7kC8VkryEnB86WYNW0Al6gfUF6YX9y8lhRqiKuOwyMyqj-QP6v72nbYgMNZODAX3lx8GoQQnUgUA5DjtX1CFp-2W7I/s1600/RKIMAGE2.jpg" height="208" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">By now, if you are a regular visitor
to my blog, you will know that I am a supporter of relationships. Yes, I have
been in my own journey when it comes to deciphering what it that I want and need
in a relationship and yes – it has changed.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Many years ago, perhaps 05’, I was so
convinced that I needed to have someone that I was willing to be anyone, say
anything in order to have someone want me. The problem was that the person they
would end up wanting never truly existed because it was a façade, a
manifestation of that ‘perfect person’ I had created for them to want. The
charade was exhausting and even though I knew that it would eventually come
crashing down – I still created it. I did this all because in the few moments
where I felt wanted, or needed by the other person – was worth everything to
me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Unfortunately, I was selfish and
idiotic because I never gave much thought to how it would affect the other
person.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am embarrassed to say that even
though I pulled in the reigns, it wasn’t until 2013 that I could truly say:
“yes I want to be in a healthy and committed relationship with someone”. The
caveat however was that I wanted it to happen with the right person and with
complete transparency. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Right now, I am ‘A O K’.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Last year, I received a lot of
proposals via mail. I also received a tone of letters with miscellaneous
questions on where my head was at in regard to relationships, especially
between two men. I did my best to answer these questions as genuinely as
possible knowing that some of my words might not make it through the reader’s
filter in the exact way that I had meant it. Still, I did my best. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is a statement that I made
almost a year ago however that continues to be brought up:</span></div>
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<h2 class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b>“I do believe that two men can be in a
monogamous and committed relationship but – there has to be genuine sexual
fulfillment.”</b></span></span></span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Apparently, this provoked a great deal
of thought from many readers and, a great deal of postal response came in to me
as a result. It became evident to me that a lot of gay men are in amazing
relationships, and I learned, that some of these relationships may not
necessarily be sexually compatible. They still however - make it work.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Typically they make it work through
strong communications. Some partners bring a 3<sup>rd</sup> party into the
bedroom and others simply enjoy an “open relationship”. These concepts are
becoming more ever present in relationships – both gay and straight. I am not
in a position to judge because, after all, every relationship is different and
what works for one, may not work for another. Still, these suggestions and
recommendations were presented to me in direct response to how they perceived
my statement.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I admit that I understand their basis
for the defense of their relationships. What I took issue with however, was that
I specifically used the terms ‘monogamous’ and ‘committed’. Call me old
fashioned, but I do not think I could be in a monogamous, committed
relationship and still be allowed to sleep with other people. Am I missing
something here?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The responses that I was receiving,
more or less, proved my point. Regardless how relationships are experienced, it
still remains true that a certain degree of sexual fulfillment must occur in
order to promote a higher chance of remaining committed to one another, and
well – monogamous. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The following questions were presented
to me. In answering them – I may actually be prompting an even more volatile
level of conversation. I welcome everyone’s feedback however – so please feel
free.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Q Is sexual fulfillment a prerequisite for
everyone?</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Absolutely not. I think it’s
appropriate to say that we, as human beings, have varied sexual appetites,
needs and desires. We are also able to weigh the pros and cons in life and I
believe it is probably better to become involved with someone for whom they
are, versus who they are – ‘between the sheets’. Still, let’s hope for the
best.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Q Is the end game simply just a sexually
viable pairing?</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Interestingly enough, I believe it
is more important for a man to find this than a woman. I do not think it’s the
‘end game; however I do think that it is at the forefront of many men’s minds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Q Is the assumption that by partnering, you
will be ensured sexual satisfaction for the balance of your life with that one
person?</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A This question is a bit dramatic I
think, but no. I believe relationships, partners etc., go through a series of
phases. I also know of many sexless relationships that seem to stand on their
own, albeit they began as sexual ones.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Q Does the true measure of a successful
partnership hinge upon mutual sexual fulfillment?</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A In my humble opinion, absolutely. If
you truly are a person that wants a committed and monogamous relationship – and
a successful one at that – then you must be in tune with one anothers sexual
needs and hopefully able to fulfill them for one another.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Q If there is no sexual compatibility or
fulfillment, can there still be love?</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Yes. I do not think that ‘love’ has
anything to do with sex in the relationship. I believe that ‘love’, is about
the person. To include sex as a prerequisite to love, would be superficial to
me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Please feel free to join this dialogue
by adding your comment here, or if you prefer, send your comments and questions
to me directly at:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">David R McKinney</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">#169947<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>QN9</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ASPC Florence,
North</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">PO Box 8000</span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Florence, AZ 85132-8000</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPeSPohA-DvBxB7EYujBV3NWroFKzNaleVFxIC4dXOQamafGE7y7_1tndllHEE1mfYZ8LRTFNH8qJsDZOUFSNofmdvULyk7YLWLjAfXsmBl6_FXdyJfzXzyeJvzS_jksS4mG5396nhRQM/s1600/Gay-Teens-Can-Survive-a-Break-Up-300x223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPeSPohA-DvBxB7EYujBV3NWroFKzNaleVFxIC4dXOQamafGE7y7_1tndllHEE1mfYZ8LRTFNH8qJsDZOUFSNofmdvULyk7YLWLjAfXsmBl6_FXdyJfzXzyeJvzS_jksS4mG5396nhRQM/s1600/Gay-Teens-Can-Survive-a-Break-Up-300x223.jpg" height="475" width="640" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://thebenttruth.wordpress.com/2011/03/26/the-sad-truth-about-gay-relationships/">https://thebenttruth.wordpress.com/2011/03/26/the-sad-truth-about-gay-relationships/</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-22249926213951275192015-02-07T14:17:00.000-08:002015-02-07T14:17:40.427-08:00‘Personal Viewpoints’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, January 25, 2015</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0Wp2DmbSMwW9-nogMlBd5HhZZoqhmxQCgiIlYsqh1jhZBSmhh6HRXbpU_H69zgYO470aYqO9zzJbIZrTBeIxZPTUhuATPRxIJFE7YoTPZciucDl2fLfBL_X23nuLQVUVmevwGvAUxV4/s1600/who-am-i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0Wp2DmbSMwW9-nogMlBd5HhZZoqhmxQCgiIlYsqh1jhZBSmhh6HRXbpU_H69zgYO470aYqO9zzJbIZrTBeIxZPTUhuATPRxIJFE7YoTPZciucDl2fLfBL_X23nuLQVUVmevwGvAUxV4/s1600/who-am-i.jpg" height="356" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the years, I have been secretly
trying to find the best possible “me” that I could find. For some of us, we
need to work on that more diligently than others because somehow, we’ve lost
our way. When that happens, I myself always have to start back at square one.
Once I started becoming truly honest with myself, it was rather easy. I took a
deep breath and accepted that I know who I am, how I feel and think etc... I
needed to be true to these things in order to be genuine with “David”.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Evolution happens whether we like it
or not. It’s one of those things that will forever be out of our control to a
certain extent. In my own humble way, I have learned to accept and embrace
change. I know that things will invariably change and so, in order to remain
positive about it, and not fear it, I have instead, chosen to look forward to
it. That said, I have evolved in my own individual way and that’s alright. No
matter what changes occur, I have already acknowledged a baseline of my own
personal viewpoints in life. Everything branches off of these ideas as they are
fundamental to who I am.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here are some of my own personal
viewpoints. You can agree or disagree, but either way – you will ultimately learn
a great deal about me through these convictions:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Life is</b> – about the destination</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Competition is</b> – winning</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Vanity is</b> – Looking your best is very
important</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Relationships are</b> – Essential.
Partnering with someone is the core foundation of one’s happiness. The security
of knowing someone is there – is key</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Physical Fitness is</b> – Vital. Working
out/exercise enhances your overall appearance and makes you feel better
mentally, emotionally and physically</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Wealth is</b> – Defined by what you own
and achieve</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Cleaning is </b>– Critical. An orderly
environment enables you to think more clearly, feel organized and in control</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Status is </b>– Tangible. You are always
being judged by others on your socioeconomic position in society</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Happiness is</b> – Being in control of
your life and destiny and being able to change things when needed.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My vision, my core values and life
experience can in some way be pinged off of – or to – one of these statements.
I make no apologies for my viewpoints because it is what I believe. There is no
way of telling whether these ideas were spurned by environmental influence or
not but I believe that most people are molded to think one way or another from
a very young age. It is possible that I was influenced throughout my childhood
and it has become what I believe as an adult. This is me – after my
individuality and life experience was blended up with my moral compass.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Outlook on life can, and will change.
This I know. There is no way to compare a life behind bars to that of someone
for example, with terminal cancer. The viewpoints would be completely divergent
in every way. The core values of simply wanting to live however, may still be
the same. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s all very thought provoking and well, uncanny.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-33555533546700737612015-02-07T14:11:00.000-08:002015-02-07T14:11:57.737-08:00‘New for 2015’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Saturday, January 10, 2015</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1JAAc_sHBYIl8G72d7xFUusBbbomEExBYA13DuvDpBQaF63E7liRQHc3WjOgpm87ch1ZtwORuvcWsYeB0S_Ek02w7c9CGVvpvWrzr5NVBPRL9sIJg7dwQ2Ynpp3edI3weWozK_gOdCk/s1600/bc6c7f7e725c82f884605a75718ffd34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1JAAc_sHBYIl8G72d7xFUusBbbomEExBYA13DuvDpBQaF63E7liRQHc3WjOgpm87ch1ZtwORuvcWsYeB0S_Ek02w7c9CGVvpvWrzr5NVBPRL9sIJg7dwQ2Ynpp3edI3weWozK_gOdCk/s1600/bc6c7f7e725c82f884605a75718ffd34.jpg" height="302" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the moment, things in my life are
okay. For the new year, I began a new job working as the clerk in the mail and
property office. The position so far has been wonderful because I feel as
though I am accomplishing something everyday. The hours are 6-2, Monday –
Thursday and 12-8 PM on Friday. Personally I love this schedule as it affords
me the opportunity to work out/train daily and still have time to write, read
and take care of other miscellaneous tasks. Since taking this new job, I have
noticed a decided uptick in my mood and so, I am embracing this change.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">On New Year’s Day, I took my 1,000
page police report that I have been toting around for all these years and
finally threw it away. I believe it was one of the most freeing experiences I
have ever had while being incarcerated and it felt as if a weight was being
lifted. It’s not as if I am trying to forget why I am here… That is consciously
impossible. I just didn’t need it anymore and I could no longer come up with a
solid reason to hold onto it. Mentally, it was as if I was telling myself that
the chapter is closed, that everything from here on out – is about the future
and not – the past.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mom has officially embraced the notion
of being completely relocated to Boston within the next 346 days. She has
assigned this particular timeline to adhere to and I think her energy is good.
She deserves the opportunity to be as happy as possible and truthfully, she
cannot achieve that here in Arizona. Her house is going up for sale and she is
on a new mission.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over and above all of that, I am
really doing my best to stay focused on the present and the future. My natural
instinct has always been to look back at what once was. I mean, the present was
the equivalent to a personal Purgatory and the future seemed unreachable. It
was all psychological but I couldn’t fight it successfully. Now, in 2015, I can
finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You may be wondering
what it is about 2015 exactly. I can’t really say for sure. The fact that I
have 3 only years remaining I guess, is so mind boggling to me. It’s almost
over.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lastly, I really have been committing
myself to my Judaic studies. I won’t say that I am becoming religious, because
I am definitely not. I am however embracing the concept of my faith and for
once, feeling like I have a clear and concise understanding about it. There is
no doubt in my mind that it has helped me to organize my thoughts and put
everything into perspective. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Funny, the things that can motivate
and trigger change within us….</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-47147069637386522812014-12-27T10:03:00.002-08:002014-12-27T15:00:04.544-08:00‘Race & Sexuality’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sunday, December 14, 2014</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQn3jnjQnKdMpHaJK_ipMAwt_iJhHfznitrLVHpVS-t2QgjBw5RaKhtCj0gWUJbnBlhBcgO8M3wWy-9jRsPPyVzEBnlIFSOvB-eEOYZWrpEE6F2bfDjU4kMsbp72jWJNdoF9hzLoTCAU/s1600/homophobia-gay-men-treat-you-like-you-treat-women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQn3jnjQnKdMpHaJK_ipMAwt_iJhHfznitrLVHpVS-t2QgjBw5RaKhtCj0gWUJbnBlhBcgO8M3wWy-9jRsPPyVzEBnlIFSOvB-eEOYZWrpEE6F2bfDjU4kMsbp72jWJNdoF9hzLoTCAU/s1600/homophobia-gay-men-treat-you-like-you-treat-women.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have forever been told that I am the
‘different one’, an anomaly or the exception to the rule when it comes to my
race and sexual orientation. In comparison to most people of color and
homosexuals, I have had an incredibly good life. It may even be unfair, just how
easy parts of my life were. I suppose that growing up in a culturally rich San
Francisco can do that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today however, it occurred to me that
I do not identify as a black man or a white one. I have made my way by creating
an independent category for David Ryan McKinney. People will ask me what it’s
like being a black man in prison and I have no answer because well, I really don’t
know. I mean, I am multi-ethnic and yes, I do have African American blood
flowing through my veins, but I have never been truly welcomed or embraced by
the Black community. This has never bothered me per se… I have accepted that I
will never be ‘Black enough’.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In today’s culture, I would be “Black-ish”
because I love jazz and R&B, I have swagger infused confidence, I play
basketball exceptionally well and I am well versed in Black history. On the
other hand, I am very articulate, pronounce all of my vowel groups, keep my
pants up, love alternative music, practice Judaism, and play soccer very well.
These are obviously conflicting stereotypes that subconsciously grant others
the right to coin me as the ‘different one’, the anomaly, and the clear
exception to the rule.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The reasons that I have been able to
maneuver through my basic day-to-day with the Black population in prison is
because I can easily hone in on my Black-ish interests. My acceptance is not an
issue because they are unable to criticize me since I am not 100% Black. This
peculiar fact has in a way, saved me from ridicule. If I had been viewed as a ‘Black
Man’, then the end all/be all of whether I was accepted - or not would be
simple. I am a gay man and well, many in the Black population seem to have an issue
with that. There is no way around it….I would have been damned because of my
sexuality.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoLAARsPkk_81eCUSKRyPsWccHy17hc8lFMWS0QMRPHzgk-w4izRNgmnYcu7z5F-ZGSTXPU0y227gsG-gsZp0ydj8jhJVmcVjFz2AFqgbhzaxTt0WivIk2VOlORZ-XfG5n26oIpYK1vVs/s1600/FWIS4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoLAARsPkk_81eCUSKRyPsWccHy17hc8lFMWS0QMRPHzgk-w4izRNgmnYcu7z5F-ZGSTXPU0y227gsG-gsZp0ydj8jhJVmcVjFz2AFqgbhzaxTt0WivIk2VOlORZ-XfG5n26oIpYK1vVs/s1600/FWIS4.jpg" height="237" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In prison, I think the Black
population is reflective of the hip/hop community on the outside. So many
aspire to be rap artists or drug dealing, gun toting individuals and well, let’s
be honest; gay men do not fit that mold – at all. In hip/hop, homosexuality is unheard
of and viewed as unacceptable. In prison, the Black population follows suit.
What is disturbing about that is that the discrimination occurs both inside
prison walls and outside in society as well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Recently, Joey viewed a Youtube video
clip of an effeminately dressed man walking on the streets of NYC – which is
assuredly one of the most open and liberal cities in the world. The negative
comments, snickers and blatant disrespect shown toward this man was horrifying
to him. Though I was unable to view it myself, I could tell by his reaction
that it was a very disturbing video. Apparently it became clear that the
majority of the people being disrespectful were Black and it cause Joey to ask
me what that was all about.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: small; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I did not need to see the video clip.</span></h2>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlPZuTdxkmy2E5iKAA9cuP9fRCe5nVMNq5a0UlOdWkPbbFFzpZKyRF9GoPZEv5iLrpHS_DQW5A7UQYVDBGsMr43iLoq9W_qr4M0E2uxSqZthjXS1EC7p-IerApr6u8qP2DuD9LAZB21h4/s1600/3hours.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlPZuTdxkmy2E5iKAA9cuP9fRCe5nVMNq5a0UlOdWkPbbFFzpZKyRF9GoPZEv5iLrpHS_DQW5A7UQYVDBGsMr43iLoq9W_qr4M0E2uxSqZthjXS1EC7p-IerApr6u8qP2DuD9LAZB21h4/s1600/3hours.jpg" height="220" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6-ZYSZoDM" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6-ZYSZoDM </a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I see that kind of discrimination
everyday here in prison. What is intriguing is that it is not ever directed
toward me, but rather, aimed at the more effeminate, 100% Black gay men only. There
have been times when, I have been sitting and talking to a group of Black men (men
I have known for years and have come to respect in my own way...) , and a fellow gay
man walks by. They will immediately launch into a tirade of verbal assaults on
him. Mind you, I am sitting there right amongst them! It is embarrassing for me
and my heart breaks because it appears that I have chosen ‘sides’. In fact, I
have not.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At times, I have put guys I know on
the spot, demanding to know why they choose to embrace me as one of the ‘fellas’
but not the other gay men. Their response is always the same; that I do not embarrass
them the way that more effeminate gay men do. I think the whole situation is
absurd, but it’s much too big for me to fix.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sometimes in life, there are things
that we simply do not understand or can make sense of. The reasons why I have
been acknowledged and accepted as a gay man in prison is simple: I do not place
myself in a specific group or race. More importantly, I do not strive to just
be known just as a "gay man". I have simply become ‘David’ and for whatever reason,
it works.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbE06qINmImiZCF-f4_VhToXEmu3M0LmP6JLTYr-iQMzSD4SGWhA1cj9umLrN0M6Jm5omTdOXeag5zEc1VhfnLH6Lqlc6M-K5Gsap02ksCSuqSwC8J1Gnuq39sny2RMt5IlnhZI36-AvU/s1600/tempe+pastor-web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbE06qINmImiZCF-f4_VhToXEmu3M0LmP6JLTYr-iQMzSD4SGWhA1cj9umLrN0M6Jm5omTdOXeag5zEc1VhfnLH6Lqlc6M-K5Gsap02ksCSuqSwC8J1Gnuq39sny2RMt5IlnhZI36-AvU/s1600/tempe+pastor-web.jpg" height="160" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This headline makes me feel like, we as a
society, have actually made no advancements in life.</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-70646000791433124792014-11-08T06:35:00.000-08:002014-11-08T11:17:45.205-08:00‘I need to know: Am I worth it?’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wednesday, October 22, 2014</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh95-2pUnH0FTiyler8ljPIJEewXguIN2dOl-tVTCT_NYN_fEbSb_YpeBAlTHvGgvRyd7ZFMWSOhvzwKBD3dum0oH63yirBJ-IHGwhqzLrh_XzYEgLmxVM_5rWAoy4yRmfpHujabLSO77Q/s1600/self+imporvement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh95-2pUnH0FTiyler8ljPIJEewXguIN2dOl-tVTCT_NYN_fEbSb_YpeBAlTHvGgvRyd7ZFMWSOhvzwKBD3dum0oH63yirBJ-IHGwhqzLrh_XzYEgLmxVM_5rWAoy4yRmfpHujabLSO77Q/s1600/self+imporvement.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Every day that passes, I am one day closer
to my new life. I have grown so much over the years of incarceration and now,
when I look in the mirror, I see a man who wants to make so much out of his
life. I have a vision, a plan and I know how I am going to execute it upon my
release. There is no doubt that I can accomplish the life that I see for myself
and yet I wonder at times – if I am deserving of it? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“<b><i>Am I worth it?</i></b>” has been
a question that now lingers in the back of my mind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This revelation will not hinder my
ambition but rather, simply fuel my drive to continue to improve upon who I am.
I like myself and more importantly, I know who I am. That is something that I
have struggled with a lot in my past. My morals have evolved and the things
that bring happiness to my life… well, they are no longer ‘things’. I cannot
lie though: I love material things. It is a part of who I am… but I no longer
view them in the same way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>My Flaws:</b></span></span> I am impossibly logical in
thinking and do not fare well having to utilize the creative, right brain
thinking side of my brain when needed. I am stubborn, intense, and strong in
mind, body and soul. I can be very judgmental with the people whom I love and
care for because, I believe, I expect more from them, It may be unfair, but it
is true. I rarely give acts of violence a second thought because now, I
understand the psychology behind it. (That does not mean I am an advocate for
it…) Lastly, my appearance and image: it is more important to me than it
probably should be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: lime;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>My Qualities:</b></span></span> I am intelligent,
meticulous and responsible. I am a natural “go getter” and have no problem
going after something that I truly want. I have great self discipline and I am
loyal, compassionate, loving and understanding. I am open minded and accepting
of all races, religions and lifestyles. I know how to listen carefully and then
deliver guidance and advice. At this point in my life, I would also say that my
‘street smarts’ are very proportionate to my curricular learning. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes, I am and always will be a ‘convicted
felon’ for the rest of my life. Only recently have I begun to incorporate that
into my way of thinking. In considering ways to promote myself, develop my
brand etc. I have concluded and expressed that I want to represent myself
authentically when I am released.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Am I good enough to be able to do this
and still be successful? Have I done enough self-improvement? Am I worth this ‘second
life’ that I have headed my way?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Right now, well, I am smiling… because
I think I am.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06015924440636020357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449332372832556539.post-60683533093210909002014-10-28T02:30:00.001-07:002014-10-28T03:15:24.895-07:00‘Dear Society’<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Friday, October 17, 2014</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQrAV1hSGciwQX-gyU3l71JAxMmCHp8QMZjV1cZduDrceU3fzgj8gno12-bryOoJ-X-hqT6PtRMmID_c9B5TzFA3q57D_yFOXSWYKbxXjnBpRNfsMPk0yDy-J077GbAK6OEhlSajOPyTs/s1600/dr+suess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQrAV1hSGciwQX-gyU3l71JAxMmCHp8QMZjV1cZduDrceU3fzgj8gno12-bryOoJ-X-hqT6PtRMmID_c9B5TzFA3q57D_yFOXSWYKbxXjnBpRNfsMPk0yDy-J077GbAK6OEhlSajOPyTs/s1600/dr+suess.jpg" height="400" width="396" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was asked to verbally promote myself
this week and realized that I was at a bit of a loss. Everything my mind was
asking my mouth to say had repercussions and/or opened doors to more intense
questions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How am I to embrace life and be my
authentic self, when I know that the majority of people will automatically shut
me out simply because I have been to prison? The irony is that I don’t blame
anyone for this response because well, I understand it. Still, I feel as though
I have shown up to a swim meet and have no idea how to swim.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here I am in prison and I have
adapted. I have learned how to survive and rise above. When I get out of
prison, my goal is to be authentic as possible. I realize that this will be difficult,
but it is the right thing to do. My mind is flooded with all of the questions
that inevitably will lead me right back here. All along I have believed that
once I am out, living my life again, that I could close this particular chapter
of my life and not look back again. I have realized now that it is not
possible. Eventually people will find out. It is better that I tell the truth,
better that it comes from me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wonder: when would people want to
know? It’s not as if I intend on introducing myself to everyone that I meet as <b>“Hi.
I’m David and I am an ex con.” </b>So, when is right? Clearly not everyone needs to
know. My tailor, dry cleaner, or the corner grocer doesn’t necessarily need to
know. My clients and people I would like to build relationships with… well they
need to know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I would be a complete tool to ask
people for leniency and understanding. Nobody can understand the weight of
being responsible for lost lives unless they have first hand
experience. The understanding my crime, my accident, my poor decision is
incredibly common doesn’t make me feel any better. All I can do is ask you – ‘Society’
to give me a chance to do good. Who’s to say if I deserve it or not because I
am so far past ‘chances’ – but I have never asked before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I just want a chance and no matter
what my attitude, education, skills and ambition is…. my success is and will, be
greatly affected by you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Or didn’t you realize?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Link to a national survey on Collateral Consequences Ex Convicts must face: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="http://www.abacollateralconsequences.org/map/" target="_blank">http://www.abacollateralconsequences.org/map/ </a></span></div>
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