It’s another early morning here in my temporary home. I spent the
better part of yesterday writing to family and friends. I also received a new
Pen Pal message from a man in New Delhi, India who sounded interesting, and so
I responded to him.
Mr. X, my supervisor, had administrative meetings and so I was
certain that I had the day off. Just as I was preparing to go and work out, I
was paged to the office though and spent the afternoon/early evening at work.
Ugh.
My best friend, Jonathon, is sick; some sort of viral thing I am
sure. I will contract it at some point. Still, I have been taking care of him
as best as I can. He would do the same for me. Having true friends in this
place is so rare. Jonathon and I have a great deal in common though. We both
had somewhat privileged lives with happy, yet dysfunctional families. He is
white and from South Beach, Miami FL. Actually he is Polish, but whites are all
the same in here. Our crimes are both vehicular. Jonathon however, accidentally
ran over a Police Commissioner’s son with his Hummer in a parking lot outside a
nightclub. He received a 35 year sentence.
People may wonder why his sentence is so much longer than mine (15
years). All I can say is that it is classic Arizona prison sentencing. I am sure that politically, the fact that the
victim was the Police Commissioner’s son did not help matters. Even so, Jonathon is as positive as he can
be. We keep each other grounded and that is a blessing in here. In case anyone
is curious, Jonathon is straight. It would be fair to say that in prison, 99%
of my friends are straight. It is not something that I feel good about really,
but again, I have to survive in here and being friends with effeminate
homosexuals would sadly be social suicide for me. The entire situation is
incredibly fucked up. I hate that it has to be like that.
Last night, I ended up being able to go out and work out. I also
ran a few miles because it was nice out. The track was very crowded though with
aimless walkers so I had to navigate carefully.
When I was finished, I decided to check in with my fantasy football guys
in dorm 1. I also did some networking
and made certain that my face was seen by the people that care to know that I
am around, and available if I am needed. It creates a bad image if you stay in
your own dorm all the time. Certain people are expected to make an appearance
every once in awhile, and I am one of those people. By the time I was done
making my ‘rounds’, I only had 15 minutes to get back to my own dorm, shower
and settle in for the season’s premier of
the’ X Factor’. http://www.thexfactorusa.com/ I am a
closet Britney Spears fan. (Save the commentary…please!) http://www.britneyspears.com/index.aspx
At the moment, it is 6:00 AM and as I look all the way down the
“run”, and into control, I see one of my favorite officers is working. God…
there really is something about him. Not only is he kind, and fair, he is also incredibly
handsome. There are two other officers here who also captivate me. Both of them
are naturally masculine and well, very ‘easy on the eye’ in that studly, virile
way. While these men are indeed physically striking, what links them all is
that they are reasonable, straightforward and do their jobs very well. Those
qualities are equally attractive to me. Over the years, I have developed open
lines of communication with these officers. And that is important.
While it would be a stretch to call these relationships
‘friendly’, it is very fair to say that there is mutual respect there. Just as
I am sure they are curious about us, we too are curious about them. Officers,
who do not know about me, always ask me what the hell I did to get here. In
turn, I want to know what compels them to work here. Some of them have so much
more potential and it really makes you stop and wonder.
Anyway, these are good men and though they are attractive; they do
their jobs well and treat us with respect. Some officers come in with serious
power trips. Unfortunately, they
typically do not last long. A lot of
prisoners have no problem physically assaulting an authority figure and that is
what typically happens. Officer assaults are never good, but they happen more than
you might think.
I work from noon to 8:00 PM today so I will kick back this morning
and then call my mom as she rolls in from the hospital. This week has not been
a good one for her so I like to check in as much as possible. At present, she
is not the happiest woman and well, has not been for several years. This of
course, is all my fault. I am man enough to admit that. In a way, she is in
prison as well. Like me, she despises Arizona but remains because of me. Lately
however, I have been making headway in terms of convincing her to sell the
house, and move back to Boston. Change is good and she most definitely needs it
in more ways than one. It would be very feasible for her to fly out to visit me
every other month. Since my plan is to relocate to Boston upon my release, I
hope that she will make this move.
Come October, she will be visiting with my friend Joe, who
incidentally, has become her friend as well. During that trip, she will be
looking at properties and meeting with prospective hospital employers too. We
will see what happens.
I desperately need some good news in my life.
