‘Politeness is a poor man’s virtue’

Thursday, June 12, 2014

This is a debatable statement but could be one of the most authentic things I have heard in a very long time. How many times have we heard: ‘money=power’? I know I hear it more than ‘knowledge=power’. Is there a disconcerting belief that the wealthy are afforded the right to be rude, arrogant, self righteous, and demanding. If so, then why is that?

Suppose a man next to me has an endless amount of disposable income. I am recently released from prison and living hand to mouth. Is he better than I am? Can he treat people worse than I can and get away with it? It’s wrong. Financial status should not automatically allow people to behave in a certain way. In today’s society however, it has become clear that it is the way of the world.

You may wonder why this topic? 

Well I overheard inmates discussing me and my family from the previous day's visit. Their dialogue was essentially a a comparison over the rumors they have heard about me; that my Mom and Kevin have these types of cars,… they live in huge houses (and they even own more than one),… they travel to Boston and Chicago every other weekend… and I am the only child. 

Their statements were so grandiose, so exaggerated. I wanted to turn the corner and clear up true facts from fiction but, I did not. Then, one of the inmates made a final statement: “No wonder he is such an asshole. He’s rich and rich people can do whatever they want to!” I was speechless and could do nothing but walk away.

My mother enables our family to live a comfortable life but, we do not do what we want, whenever we want. Especially not me, for that matter. I admit that I can be an asshole but, that is because of reasons that have nothing to do with wealth. The reality is that I have nothing. The perception however is quite the opposite. I get that because in here, perception = fact.

Politeness is something I cannot afford here. I decided to let them think what they want because in the end, it will not effect me either way. The fact that I am correcting them, or putting them in their place could be considered an act of politeness, right?

“People whose lives are not balanced with a healthy love of money suffer from an appalling obsession with personal integrity.”

Thursday, June 12, 2014

At first read, I found the above quote quite insulting. For whatever reason, it stuck in my head and I kept returning to it over and over. I probably read it a dozen times. The more I relaxed and absorbed the words, how they were written and what they meant when put together, the more I actually became fond of it. Still, it did not negate the fact that there was a remaining curiosity about it.

The initial insult I believe was derived from the fact that I have been entrenched with things of a monetary nature recently. I wondered if I would be in the former or the latter of that quote. After a short deliberation, it became clear that I am in the former of the two. I do have a love of money, but it is impossible for me to say whether it is healthy or unhealthy. 

While going through this particular exercise, I realized that many of my friends are undoubtedly in the latter category. The word ‘obsession’ though, makes me uneasy simply because I automatically attribute it as a negative. I am well aware of the fact that my friends are very passionate when it comes to the importance of being a good person and maintaining a certain level of integrity. I understand it and admire it. Sadly, their passion for being ‘good’, makes me feels as though I am ‘un-good’ in some way that I am unaware of.

Do I lack personal integrity? I have integrity….how much is impossible to say because of the environment that I am currently in. Balance is something that I struggle with. I struggle with it daily, but I will certainly be more conscientious of the relationship between these two particular concepts.

It is pretty thought provoking nonetheless. 

‘Money, Real Estate, Friends and Dreams’

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Money

Believe me when I say that its taking the work of a small village to get mom and I completely relocated to Boston. The past couple of weeks have been nonstop discussions about the type of house, the particular neighborhood, price range, LLC’s, IRA’s, trust management and investments. The process has blown me away and I have been learning so many things.

I spent the better part of this past weekend going over real estate listing and financial agreements for my mother. I was informed that my name is going on the title to the house and the reality of that is slowly settling in,. It is her way of making sure that I will be okay. I will never be able to show my appreciation. I really am incredibly blessed.

Real Estate

The demographic charting of Boston proper is taking some getting used to. So far, we have decided on a triple-decker Colonial in the neighborhood of Mission Hill. There is no shortage of Colonial homes in Boston so now it is all about finding the right house.

Friends

Joey, Kevin and Mark have been very involved. They have all actively reached out to their contacts and the proverbial wheels are rolling. As I sit here and think about what everyone is doing, it really warms my heart. Each of them is accomplished in different ways and they have such a vast amount of experience when you connect their professional contacts and combine their knowledge. It gives me a great feeling of security that everything will work out as it should.

Dreams

As I was studying the various maps and property listings, I immediately began to day dream. There is something about the New England architecture, and the streets that I am drawn into. The Google Earth views are beautiful and I began to see myself there. I can’t remember the last time that I envisioned myself in something other than orange. I saw a clear view of myself running down a chilly New England street at dawn with a Doberman pinscher by my side. The entire thing was comforting to me and I became emotional. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt as though I could actually breath. 

I am going to be just fine