‘Beautiful Men, Different Reasons’

Monday, February 9, 2015

You may feel that as a gay man, I am a connoisseur of men. That may be true when it comes to eyeing the male body in its natural state, however I see beauty in a variety of ways. It is not always driven by my loins or a fantasy of ‘what ifs’. I have found that over time, I have matured and with that, so too has my palate. The following are some of the men whom I find beautiful and intriguing. I am certain that a few of these men may surprise you, but I hope that you can find a mutual appreciate for my reasoning.

Nick Denton, Founder of ‘Gawker’

I saw him speak on TV and he captivated me immediately. I was unaware of his sexual orientation at the time but I loved his sense of realness. He is authentic and humble while still coming across as genius. The man is a risk take and has accomplished great things. I would love to sit with him over coffee one day and just pick his brain. The fact that he is open about his marriage to actor Derrence Washington is only a bonus in my eyes.

Stephen Bishop, Athlete turned actor. (Currently plays opposite Gabriel Union on the hit show ‘Being Mary Jane’)

Physically, I have to say, this man is A++, however he absolutely much deeper than his appearance. He is a thinker and committed to following his gut in life, love and career. He is, without a doubt, the closest to what I would consider to be a ‘spiritual man’. For him, it is clear that he has allowed the serendipitous events of life to lead him in his journey and I applaud him for that.

Dominic Corbisiere, Chef, US Navy Man and Grandfather

He is probably the most influential man in my life. He was an Italian immigrant in every way. As the consummate lady’s man, he could work a room like no other. He was a man of great conviction and lived his life with respect to what is right versus wrong. He taught me to love and to speak through food. In life, he always stayed true even in the ups and downs. I wish I had his peace of mind and ability to always remain calm.

Gio Benetez, ABC New Correspondent

I followed him in the Miami area before he made it ‘big’. He is kind, patient, and has a raw appreciation for the life he has made for himself. There is nothing “celebrity” about him and that speaks volumes about who he is as a man.

Alan Comming, Actor, Activist, Author

In a way, I would have put him 1^st on my list, but I am not compiling a “best to least best” list here. I have been a fan of his since he was beginning on stage. Slowly he has given us the privilege of learning more about him and in that, I have found many similarities in how we think. He has gone through many changes in life and come out on top. He inspires me to keep my head up and continue on.

Jason Collins, Athlete, Activist

There have been others before him who have come out as a gay man, and many more will follow. For me, Jason had a different challenge. He was not only a black man, but he was an active, professional athlete. For as long as I live, I will forever remember his ‘coming out’ press conference. I could tell that he was finally choosing himself over everything else as he spoke. I felt it. His journey, at that moment, was so important for Americans. Thank you Jason. You ROCK!!!

Shawn T, Fitness Expert

He doesn’t know this, but he was incredibly influential in my personal decision to focus on fitness as an occupation. He forced me to relate to him without even trying. He is bi-racial, gayu and successful in a field that I hope to excel in. What’s awesome about him is that in all of his successes, he has managed to maintain a sense of normalcy in his life, yet he hasn’t ‘settled’. He makes me fight harder every day in achieving what I want.

Dyson Villarson, Student, Dreamer, Friend

The man has just as much, if not more, drive and ambition than I do. He continues to make me pause and re-evaluate life in terms of what I want and need versus that which other people want and need for me. My appreciation for him has no bounds

‘Guys & Dolls’

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I have never believed that my environment played a part in the fact that I am a gay man.

I, like so many, believe that I was born a gay man. Before coming to terms with my sexuality however, I did have a few heterosexual experiences. I know many gay men who have never been with a female, let alone be attracted to them, but that clearly wasn’t the case for me. I have always been able to discern whether I found men and women attractive. As puberty came around, I was unable to decipher the differences within my attractions. That fact alone was motivation enough to experiment.

In Junior High and High School, girls were pretty aggressive in their pursuit of me. I was confused by that. I could not recognize that the things I found attractive in guys i.e. their smile, voices, athleticism, butt etc., were the same things that girls found attractive in me.

Natalie was my first for everything. We shared commonalities: we were both popular and our parents socialized together. She was stunning, athletic and we were both were both genuine friends. When we decided to have sex, it was on a regular weekend ski trip to her parent’s cabin in Tahoe. It was awkward and clumsy but we found our way. My final analysis was that it was ‘okay’ but I didn’t understand what the big deal was. It the weeks that followed, she wanted to have sex all the time. My friends couldn’t understand why I was so nonchalant about it. Our relationship ended when my mom and I relocated to Scottsdale.

A couple of years later, enter Bernadine. Again, she was both beautiful and popular. The sex was exciting because she was much more experienced that I was. One day, when we were fooling around, I began to fantasize about my friend Sean and my arousal skyrocketed. Sean and I had been in a ‘bromance’ at the time and it put my mind into a spin. Luckily, my mom was not thrilled with Bernadine’s possessiveness toward me and put a stop to the relationship. In truth, I was not disappointed.

In the months that followed, I worked up the courage to tell Seam that I thought he was ‘hot’. Somehow we ended up fooling around and had our own experimental phase. I knew that he was straight, but for me, I realized that I was in fact, gay.

I was 16 or 17 years old when one day after running errands, mom and my aunt Jan were in the kitchen having a glass of wine, chatting. I was putting food away in the pantry when out of nowhere they asked in union: “So when are you planning on telling us you’re gay David?”

I said: “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. Why? Does that matter?

They said: “Of course not.”

“Okay then.” I replied and that was my entire coming out conversation. I never really had the ‘I need to talk to you about something’ talk. Like so many things in my life, very little is done in that “normal” way.