‘New Guy on The Block’

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Tuesday marks my 27^th day as a minimum level inmate. I was “rolled up”, loaded onto a van and driven across the state to a small town called Florence, Arizona which is located approximately 45 minutes outside of Phoenix on the southeastern side. I believe that I was truly ill-equipped to handle this particular change and, as you can see, it has taken near a month for me to get out a blog entry. Nevertheless, I am as situated as I am ever going to be and it is time to get back on the proverbial horse.

This particular facility is unlike any place I have ever been. It spans over a mile and is separated into 3 individual ‘yards’ which ae all connected by gateways. There are 1,500 inmates that live here and everyone of us has a release date. I am so accustomed to being around inmates who are serving life sentences or have been in prison for many, many years. Because of that reference point, I am in awe at how people behave here. There seems to be no structure, very little respect, and very minimal race or gang-related politics. This is odd to me and makes me realize how very institutionalized I really have become. In short, I have somehow evolved into a ‘convict’ and never even realized it.

I quickly realized that I was being avoided by almost everyone besides a small handful of inmates whom I already knew. When I inquired as to why most inmates were avoiding me, I was given an educational lesson. Apparently, I was being considered as violent, highly political and calculating. My reputation at Stiner in Buckeye (and other incredibly volatile facilities) had somehow manifested itself into the perception that I was a pretty serious ‘bad ass’. Inside, I chuckled about it, but when I was alone, I was disheartened by it. It is challenging to change people’s minds in here and I am not about to try. So I have accepted the fact that at least for now, I am flying solo for the most part. I am embracing it even though the whole point of coming to a minimum security facility was to re-establish some normalcy. That in mind – this is the least normal place I have been in some time.

For now, the inmates around me are on eggshells and I can hear their whispers behind my back. I know it. They know it. There is no point in confronting them because this is not the type of place for that. Additionally, that confrontational behavior is something in me that I am trying to change. Because of the peculiar nature of these inmates though, the staff and officers tend to be less patient, less respectful and often come across as well, rude. I am taken aback at how terribly they can treat the inmates here but I stop to put it into perspective and try to stay out of their way. I believe they must be completely jaded from dealing with DUI/drug offenders, auto thieves and other less violent, petty/mediocre criminals. I suppose they cannot help but to have a chip on their shoulders. The officers whom I am accustomed to dealing with however are very well aware of what the higher level inmates have done – and are still capable of. The fear that the inmate has ‘nothing to lose’ creates a certain level of awareness and mutual respect between officer and inmate that simply does not exist here.

At this facility though,. I am truly the new (yet old) kid on the block. I thought that after a few weeks, people would eventually warm up to me, but they have not. I shouldn’t care really… I don’t need new friends. I just wish I understood it better.

It pains me to say this, but at certain moments, I wish I was back on a medium security yard. Sad, but true.