What now?
I guess it’s back to business as usual. This morning I will write
some letters and do some laundry. I will work out in the afternoon and then make
some phone calls. I feel good though and the fact that I have 3 days off, is so
nice. I have to take advantage of them though. There is a lot on my mind and it’s
the perfect time to put everything in check. My mental list of thoughts is as
follows:
1. The
Boston Transfer. I have not really gone into this much, but I have put in for a
request to transfer to a facility in Massachusetts over 2 years ago and have
been patiently waiting. We have been given the run around a couple of times
now, but what it all boils down to is; I have to wait for an inmate in
Massachusetts DOC to request a transfer to Arizona. If that happens, I can go –
providing I pay out $6,000. in fees. We
will do that, but every day, I lose more and more hope. I really would love to
be able to put Arizona behind me despite the fear of having to essentially ‘start
over’ in a whole new prison system.
2. Job
Change. My job is great. I mean yeah, I work crazy long hours and have
to deal with a lot of drama, but it does give me that feeling as though I am a
regular person outside of these walls, who has a purpose and that is needed at
their job.
Right before we went on this vacation though, my boss informed me
that he made his promotion and is on a list to be assigned to a different
prison unit. If that happens, then I will have to look for another position. I
am not too keen on the person who would likely take his place.My options would be to:
·
Not work and instead, really focus on the
blog, my workouts, letters etc.
·
Work for Swift Trucking company as some sort
of office clerk
·
Apply to work for the Deputy Warden in
administration
·
Speak to our Deputy Warden and ask where she
would like me to work
Most likely, my boss will not leave until January, so I have some time
make a decision.
3. Mom. I have
been really trying to pay attention to developing a better understanding of who
my mother is now. While doing that, I have also been weighing in on things that
she may need from me upon my release vs what I know she will want. There is a
huge difference between the two so it has to be well thought out.
For example:
·
Mom’s plan in her head; She would relocate from
Arizona to Boston, or possibly, to South Beach, Miami. I promptly move in with
her and begin living my life. Mom and I have a truly unique relationship and I
love her dearly, but I do not want to be that 37 year old man living at home with
his mother and looking at a dead end. The thing is that I know she wants to be
near me wherever I am. When I sit and tell her my plan though, there are times
that I don’t think she hears me. I know that I will be there for her, but
finding a balance, or a situation that would work, is challenging.
·
My plan in my head: I am released and move
into Joe’s house. Mom would live nearby. At Joe’s, I would feel less parental
pressure and would feel some semblance of true independence. I could essentially
hit the ground running, but still have the support and advice of a good friend at the
same time. There would not be that maternal factor in that equation. I would
still be able to see my mom all the time and be there for her just the same.
I don’t know, somewhere between these two plans, we will have to
meet in the middle.As you can see, I definitely have some things to think about.
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