‘New for 2015’

Saturday, January 10, 2015

At the moment, things in my life are okay. For the new year, I began a new job working as the clerk in the mail and property office. The position so far has been wonderful because I feel as though I am accomplishing something everyday. The hours are 6-2, Monday – Thursday and 12-8 PM on Friday. Personally I love this schedule as it affords me the opportunity to work out/train daily and still have time to write, read and take care of other miscellaneous tasks. Since taking this new job, I have noticed a decided uptick in my mood and so, I am embracing this change.

On New Year’s Day, I took my 1,000 page police report that I have been toting around for all these years and finally threw it away. I believe it was one of the most freeing experiences I have ever had while being incarcerated and it felt as if a weight was being lifted. It’s not as if I am trying to forget why I am here… That is consciously impossible. I just didn’t need it anymore and I could no longer come up with a solid reason to hold onto it. Mentally, it was as if I was telling myself that the chapter is closed, that everything from here on out – is about the future and not – the past.

Mom has officially embraced the notion of being completely relocated to Boston within the next 346 days. She has assigned this particular timeline to adhere to and I think her energy is good. She deserves the opportunity to be as happy as possible and truthfully, she cannot achieve that here in Arizona. Her house is going up for sale and she is on a new mission.

Over and above all of that, I am really doing my best to stay focused on the present and the future. My natural instinct has always been to look back at what once was. I mean, the present was the equivalent to a personal Purgatory and the future seemed unreachable. It was all psychological but I couldn’t fight it successfully. Now, in 2015, I can finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You may be wondering what it is about 2015 exactly. I can’t really say for sure. The fact that I have 3 only years remaining I guess, is so mind boggling to me. It’s almost over.

Lastly, I really have been committing myself to my Judaic studies. I won’t say that I am becoming religious, because I am definitely not. I am however embracing the concept of my faith and for once, feeling like I have a clear and concise understanding about it. There is no doubt in my mind that it has helped me to organize my thoughts and put everything into perspective. 

Funny, the things that can motivate and trigger change within us….