Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Most healthy, normal humans enjoy sex. It’s a simple fact. Some obviously enjoy it much more than others, but everyone will agree - it is one of our basic animal drives. And thankfully, this commonly shared desire is one that supports the ongoing existence of the human race.
It is the ‘business’ of sex though, that has many of us divided. The very notion of turning something so incredibly pleasurable into a profit center, makes a lot of people squirm. Some turn sex into a career because of their acute business sense. Others get involved in ‘adult entertainment’ because they genuinely have a higher sexual appetite - and they truly enjoy it. And then, sadly, there are those who turn to the business of selling sex because they are limited in their abilities to survive economically in any other way.
Though I rarely admit it to most people, I have considered a career as an escort or in adult entertainment. I am not alone in this fantasy. I have spoken to many men who also daydream about this enterprise. (Who wouldn’t want to get paid for something that feels so good?) But for me, there is a different reality. When I consider those careers, I am reminded of the fact that when I get out there and start looking to build a legitimate career, many people will know that I have been incarcerated. That stigma presents a considerable emotional roadblock to many who would otherwise readily employ me. Looking at the very real difficulties of becoming gainfully employed as an ex-convict, motivated me in this initial thought process.
I have always kept this as a “backup plan”. If I was not successful as a Personal Trainer and found myself needing to generate some positive cash flow, I could always get into that ‘business’ if need be. Hell, there really is no harm in it – right? That career however, is still “taboo” even though the escorting side of it is one of the oldest professions known to man. I prefer not to say that this choice, for me, would be out of despair. That would be a lie. And I seriously doubt that many men and women in this particular arena grew up wanting to be in it as a lifelong dream.
I have known, and still know men that are successful in the adult film industry and on the side, are escorting as well. More than a few had fallen into it after attempting a legitimate modeling career. It’s an easy transition for most and sometimes, even easier to get booked. This has been going on for years and the internet and social media have provided the platform that was needed for men and women to take their ‘services’ to the next level. I have watched it grow with a fervency to match no other as I sit behind these prison walls. It amazes me to no end.
Porn is readily accessible at the click of a mouse and often times, it is free. There are Apps and websites readily available for anyone’s sexual tastes or preference. Specific fetishes are now more accepted than ever because the internet enables people to connect socially on line with others who share their same likes. Because I cannot experience either the internet or social media myself, I am truly non-biased in my viewpoint. I personally feel that, as long as no one is getting hurt, it is all okay. Obviously everyone has their own personal feelings or beliefs on sex, but if no one is being harmed, than why criticize or judge?
Recently, a website by the name of Rentboy.com was raided by the FBI and Homeland Security. The news breaking hit home only because I am familiar with a few guys who have marketed their services on that site. As a man who has casually considered getting into this field or should I say, “line of work”, I too would definitely have used Rentboy.com as a platform myself.
Look, in no way can I speak as an expert to the specific case involving Rentboy.com. I don’t know all the facts and would never claim to be in the know with everything that is going on. That doesn’t negate the fact that I still have questions. Is this a gay issue? A solicitation issue? How will this impact the people who are trying to supplement their income, to put food on their table and keep a roof over their heads? Escorting (and sex) is going on in many other areas, so why this website? And why now?
As an adult, I wonder; why, in this day and age, should it be illegal for me to have a simple business transaction with another consenting adult? Is it because it is the act of sex that we cannot accept as ‘trade’? Is this some arcane moral value that still holds through the test of time? I mean, are there that many people who are still against this – even today?
The fact that I will be 35 this year, and 37 when I am released, presents a closing window of time for me to even consider myself in the adult entertainment industry, I realize this and accept it wholeheartedly. That doesn’t change the fact that I feel this rentboy.com situation is being made into a spectacle for unforeseen reasons. The continuous ‘ooohs’ and ‘ ahhhhs’ of shock, is quite ridiculous. Are we, as a people, this naïve and critical to: A) Not realize that this is a business – or- B) Want to condemn it? I don’t believe this topic will ever be settled but I had to voice my personal outlook on it.
Hell, my platform here is miniscule in comparison to others but, as this topic develops more and take on a life of its own, I felt it my due diligence to speak up as well.