Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Every day that passes, I am one day closer to my new life. I have grown so much over the years of incarceration and now, when I look in the mirror, I see a man who wants to make so much out of his life. I have a vision, a plan and I know how I am going to execute it upon my release. There is no doubt that I can accomplish the life that I see for myself and yet I wonder at times – if I am deserving of it?
“Am I worth it?” has been a question that now lingers in the back of my mind.
This revelation will not hinder my ambition but rather, simply fuel my drive to continue to improve upon who I am. I like myself and more importantly, I know who I am. That is something that I have struggled with a lot in my past. My morals have evolved and the things that bring happiness to my life… well, they are no longer ‘things’. I cannot lie though: I love material things. It is a part of who I am… but I no longer view them in the same way.
My Flaws: I am impossibly logical in thinking and do not fare well having to utilize the creative, right brain thinking side of my brain when needed. I am stubborn, intense, and strong in mind, body and soul. I can be very judgmental with the people whom I love and care for because, I believe, I expect more from them, It may be unfair, but it is true. I rarely give acts of violence a second thought because now, I understand the psychology behind it. (That does not mean I am an advocate for it…) Lastly, my appearance and image: it is more important to me than it probably should be.
My Qualities: I am intelligent, meticulous and responsible. I am a natural “go getter” and have no problem going after something that I truly want. I have great self discipline and I am loyal, compassionate, loving and understanding. I am open minded and accepting of all races, religions and lifestyles. I know how to listen carefully and then deliver guidance and advice. At this point in my life, I would also say that my ‘street smarts’ are very proportionate to my curricular learning.
Yes, I am and always will be a ‘convicted felon’ for the rest of my life. Only recently have I begun to incorporate that into my way of thinking. In considering ways to promote myself, develop my brand etc. I have concluded and expressed that I want to represent myself authentically when I am released.
Am I good enough to be able to do this and still be successful? Have I done enough self-improvement? Am I worth this ‘second life’ that I have headed my way?
Right now, well, I am smiling… because I think I am.