Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Every day that passes, I am one day closer
to my new life. I have grown so much over the years of incarceration and now,
when I look in the mirror, I see a man who wants to make so much out of his
life. I have a vision, a plan and I know how I am going to execute it upon my
release. There is no doubt that I can accomplish the life that I see for myself
and yet I wonder at times – if I am deserving of it?
“Am I worth it?” has been
a question that now lingers in the back of my mind.
This revelation will not hinder my
ambition but rather, simply fuel my drive to continue to improve upon who I am.
I like myself and more importantly, I know who I am. That is something that I
have struggled with a lot in my past. My morals have evolved and the things
that bring happiness to my life… well, they are no longer ‘things’. I cannot
lie though: I love material things. It is a part of who I am… but I no longer
view them in the same way.
My Flaws: I am impossibly logical in
thinking and do not fare well having to utilize the creative, right brain
thinking side of my brain when needed. I am stubborn, intense, and strong in
mind, body and soul. I can be very judgmental with the people whom I love and
care for because, I believe, I expect more from them, It may be unfair, but it
is true. I rarely give acts of violence a second thought because now, I
understand the psychology behind it. (That does not mean I am an advocate for
it…) Lastly, my appearance and image: it is more important to me than it
probably should be.
My Qualities: I am intelligent,
meticulous and responsible. I am a natural “go getter” and have no problem
going after something that I truly want. I have great self discipline and I am
loyal, compassionate, loving and understanding. I am open minded and accepting
of all races, religions and lifestyles. I know how to listen carefully and then
deliver guidance and advice. At this point in my life, I would also say that my
‘street smarts’ are very proportionate to my curricular learning.
Yes, I am and always will be a ‘convicted
felon’ for the rest of my life. Only recently have I begun to incorporate that
into my way of thinking. In considering ways to promote myself, develop my
brand etc. I have concluded and expressed that I want to represent myself
authentically when I am released.
Am I good enough to be able to do this
and still be successful? Have I done enough self-improvement? Am I worth this ‘second
life’ that I have headed my way?
Right now, well, I am smiling… because
I think I am.
