Wednesday, March 19, 2014

'Aging; how it affects my psyche?...my vanity?...my attractions?'

Friday, February 28, 2014

Someone once told me that for gay men, life is over at 30. That aging is more difficult for the gay community than it is for actresses aging in Hollywood.  Though I feel that both these statements are gross exaggerations, they do have a small ring of truth to them.
Personally, I am learning to accept aging in a mature way and at a reasonably good pace. I work hard at staying healthy, in shape and I am happy with the way I look. I enjoy working out and these days, I seem to be doing it more for me rather than for someone else. In the past, I don’t think I would have been able to say that.

My hair began thinning when I was 22. I only recently began to embrace my ‘Jason Stathom’ look in the past year or so. The rough look seems to work for me though. The lines that have begun to develop around my eyes; the quintessential laugh lines… I like them. People have always said that I have ‘old eyes’; intense and even hard – so perhaps I am catching up. As far as my body goes, it is better now than it was ten or even 15 years ago. It’s muscular, flexible, linear in composition. I have a gymnast’s build. I am doing alright for 33. I will be released when I am 37 so I hope to feel the same then as I do now.
As a gay man over 30, I know that for a long time, my attractions were driven by my penis. I was incredibly visual, physical, almost carnal. I could care less if guys could piece together basic sentences. Today though, I am still visual – but in different ways. I have now also incorporated more character and emotional traits into my attraction draws. I can tell the difference between simply being attracted to the fantasy of being with someone versus the authentic person.
Things that get my attention? I love men, masculine men who know their way around a football game, who are comfortable in jeans and baseball hats etc., but are still capable of navigating through this season’s Tom Ford line. I prefer men that go easy on their manscaping. (Grooming is great, but going completely hairless is visually awkward to me… just saying.) I am drawn to men who stay in shape and know how to challenge me mentally.

Typically I look at whether I see myself waking up next to them in the morning; could I trust him, share life and have those wonderful, comfortable silences with him.
Since I lean toward the masculine spectrum, it will always get my attention when a man is powerful enough to tell me “No” and actually get my consideration. I am not exactly sure what that means, but it works more or less.

There you have it; my simple, perhaps impossible list of attractions.

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