Someone once told me that for gay men,
life is over at 30. That aging is more difficult for the gay community than it
is for actresses aging in Hollywood.
Though I feel that both these statements are gross exaggerations, they
do have a small ring of truth to them.
Personally, I am learning to accept
aging in a mature way and at a reasonably good pace. I work hard at staying
healthy, in shape and I am happy with the way I look. I enjoy working out and
these days, I seem to be doing it more for me rather than for someone else. In
the past, I don’t think I would have been able to say that.
My hair began thinning when I was 22.
I only recently began to embrace my ‘Jason Stathom’ look in the past year or
so. The rough look seems to work for me though. The lines that have begun to
develop around my eyes; the quintessential laugh lines… I like them. People
have always said that I have ‘old eyes’; intense and even hard – so perhaps I
am catching up. As far as my body goes, it is better now than it was ten or
even 15 years ago. It’s muscular, flexible, linear in composition. I have a
gymnast’s build. I am doing alright for 33. I will be released when I am 37 so
I hope to feel the same then as I do now.
As a gay man over 30, I know that for
a long time, my attractions were driven by my penis. I was incredibly visual,
physical, almost carnal. I could care less if guys could piece together basic
sentences. Today though, I am still visual – but in different ways. I have now
also incorporated more character and emotional traits into my attraction draws.
I can tell the difference between simply being attracted to the fantasy of
being with someone versus the authentic person.
Things that get my attention? I love
men, masculine men who know their way around a football game, who are
comfortable in jeans and baseball hats etc., but are still capable of
navigating through this season’s Tom Ford line. I prefer men that go easy on
their manscaping. (Grooming is great, but going completely hairless is visually
awkward to me… just saying.) I am drawn to men who stay in shape and know how
to challenge me mentally.
Typically I look at whether I see
myself waking up next to them in the morning; could I trust him, share life and
have those wonderful, comfortable silences with him.
Since I lean toward the masculine
spectrum, it will always get my attention when a man is powerful enough to tell
me “No” and actually get my consideration. I am not exactly sure what that
means, but it works more or less.
There you have it; my simple, perhaps
impossible list of attractions.
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