Many people ask me if I have lost many friends because of this journey. It is difficult to explain because I truthfully didn’t have any real friends before I came to prison. The people that I was “close” with, would really be classified as acquaintances. They did not know the real me and in turn, I never really knew them. It wasn’t authentic and so, I cannot, in good faith, refer to any of those connections that I had with them as ‘friendships’.
Over many years, I have continued to
grow and come into my own. The people that I did have in my life that are
special to me, who I have not lost… well, I cannot call them just friends. They
are so much more than that. These individuals are incredibly important to me. I
love them with such a passion that even I cannot understand it at times. The
many layers of my personality, my past, present and future are equally
important to them. They know who I am and accept me, flaws and all. I can be
vulnerable to them and for that, there are no bounds for what I would do for
any of them.
Here are those people and this – is for
them.
(Each of you know who you are.)
HELLO KITTY
I love you more than I love myself –
or anything else in the world for that matter. There is much that I am so sorry
for and yet you have never failed me. We are ‘one’ and I dare say that we always
will be. It is amazing how we can hold a complete conversation without ever
uttering a single word. There are secrets that we hold for one another that
nobody could begin to imagine. The memories of another life, a previous
chapter, if you will, are what define you and I. Those moments are sad, tough,
fun, crazy and ours alone. Soon enough, we will make new memories. Life will
begin again and it will be all about us. I will do my best to remain as your
rock. Considering that I owe you my life, I’d say that it is the least I can
do. You are my song, my favorite cigar, my Kettle/Grapefruit and the uni on my
plate. 6 ½ 10 ½
PATHFINDER
I have loved you for my entire life.
You have protected me and loved me unconditionally. You have been my motivation
for my career choice; physical, wellness, the outdoors, animals – and of
course, my obsession with football. I will never forget all the 49ers games,
the music concerts, the ski trips, and our drives to the planetarium. You
always let me shift your gears in the Alfa Romero. And you taught me to drive a
manual in the Pathfinder over the hills of San Francisco. There will never be a
way to thank you because you are too many things to me. You have been my
friend, my parent, my advisor, my psychologist and so much, much more. I love
you.
MS PENN STATE
Hi gorgeous! What can I say? To me you
are like the finest dirty martini in AZ88. You are classic, always in style, and
ready to conquer the world. Like so many people in my life, we have developed
our own unique bond. I have come to trust you with my secrets just as you do
with me. Thank you for being you. I love you!
MISSION HILL
How you and I got to this place is beyond
me. Perhaps it is kismet that you are the Ying to my Yang. I will forever
cherish that element between us. You challenge me to be better, push me and
make me crazy in ways that I never would have imagined. God knows that I never
understood that I could want to hug and slap the person I love at the same
time until I met you. There are times that I believe that we came into one
another’s lives simply to call each other out on our crap. If that is the case,
well then I welcome it. Thank you for keeping me sane. I know it has not been
easy. I love you unconditionally – even when I want to slap you.
MS FERRARI
You are remarkable, beautiful, hard, a
‘BOSS’, feminine and too damned smart for your own good at times. One would
think that we’d be a very odd couple, but in another life, I would marry you in
a second. (That is providing of course that in that other life, I came back as a
heterosexual…) The bond that we have never dissipates. I admire and love you.
Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my life.
So there you have it. You are all my
heart, and yes, you are all my ‘friends’.
In time, I know that when I can put
this experience behind me that I will meet new people. I look forward to
developing authentic and lifelong friendships in the future.
It’s time.
No comments:
Post a Comment