Thursday, March 7, 2013

Fear and loathing in Scottsdale, Arizona

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Funny, my greatest fear in life has nothing to do with being in prison. One would think I should be most afraid of waking up every day in this place and enduring everything that goes on in here.
The fact of the matter, is that my greatest fear is that for whatever reason, my mother does not take it upon herself to relocate somewhere else that might make her happier. She too, does not like Arizona, but remains here because of me. Perhaps because of that, she has become somewhat complacent in her life. And I worry. As she ages, the inevitability of health problems becomes greater. Should something happen to her within the next 5 years, then I would of course be required to return to my old home here in Arizona upon my release. Scottsdale represents a sad, negative and tragic past for me. The possibility of having to begin my life there, with all those dark memories, rocks me to my core. There would be no other option though.

It is something I would have to do.

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