Thursday, February 27, 2014

‘A leap in time’

Friday, February 21, 2014

Sometimes when I am alone with my thoughts, my mind wanders to the ‘what will be’ part of my life; the FUTURE

I admit full-heartedly that there are times that I become frustrated, depressed and well, saddened at what has become of my life. It is nobody's fault but my own and I try to ignore it most times but reality has a way of rearing its ugly head.
What’s to become of me when the time comes for me to walk out of these tall fences, so neatly trimmed with barbed wire? Am I to believe that there is a plan already laid out for me, some intrinsic outline of my life that has already been written in the stars? I’d like to think that we are in control of our own destinies but if that is the case than I have no more chances. I have to do my best to turn this life that I have led thus far in a very different direction. Rewrite the script if you will…
I know what I imagine, and what that is - could be interpreted as simple, or perhaps even minimal. Will I be my own success story? If so, how will I know when I have succeeded? Everyday I watch people chase things round and round, trying to accomplish more and more. How much is enough though? Don’t we all measure success in different ways? For some, its money but for others; it may be family, friends, their career, health or even love and relationships.
For me, I hope to be able to work, have a career, and be successful and independent. I want to own my own home, a loft or an apartment in the city (Boson). It doesn’t need to be extravagant or ‘over the top’. I am a dog lover so I see a puppy as my ‘partner’ almost immediately upon my release. I would love a small circle of friends and of course, to be close to my family. Weekend get-aways and vacations are all well and good, but I have really become rather simplistic in my wants and needs. That is to be expected when you have had to fit your entire life into a few small banker boxes and a 10x6 space. I live in an area that is smaller than the closet of my home prior to coming into prison. 

That fact alone should really put things into a proper perspective.

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