'Why Do We Need Or Crave Relationships When The Reasons To Remain Single Sound Pretty Damn Good?'

Monday, January 27, 2014

So my BFF is the epitome of a perfect bachelor. He is happy, independent and unequivocally has no desire to be tied to anyone. Time to time, I will essentially ‘poke the sleeping bear’ within him by telling him to find someone. His reaction is so extreme that you’d think I had thrown him on hot coals! Since I have always been PRO relationship, it has been a fun and educational debate between us… until now.

Recently, he took it upon himself to give me this list of the following reasons to remain single:

1.       Never a possibility that your heart will be broken

2.       You are always free to do whatever you want to do
3.       No arguments over what to watch on TV
4.       No ‘in laws’
5.       You never have to check in with someone before you make plans
6.       No constant judgment over your life choices
7.       You can masturbate whenever you want freely
8.       No fighting over the covers
9.       You can spend more time with your friends
10.   No arguments over holiday decorations
11.   You never have to worry about forgetting your anniversary
12.   You are always on your own time
13.    More space in your home for your own stuff
14.   No arguments over money
15.   You never have to worry over someone publicly revealing your more embarrassing habits
16.   No one ‘borrows’ your clothes
17.   You don’t have to worry over where your partner is when they do not come home on time
18.   You don’t have to apologize when you fart
19.   You don’t have to worry about being judged by your choice in a partner
20.   You don’t have to feel guilty over your snoring
21.   No arguments over food
22.   You can play your music as loud as you want
23.   No jealousy - ever
24.   You don’t have to make excuses for someone else’s behavior
25.   You can have sex with anyone you want, whenever you want, without worry
26.   No arguments over cleaning
27.   You never have to worry about impressing someone else’s friends
28.   You can entertain without a ‘co-host’
29.   No arguments over where to vacation
30.   You always get to drive and never have to listen to someone challenging your sense of direction
31.   You are not subjected to someone’s constant whining about their job/family/health et al
32.   You can walk around the house naked whenever you want
33.   No arguments over who’s family to spend the holidays with
34.   You can leave dishes in the sink and not feel guilty
35.   You don’t have to explain/justify your opinions/feelings
36.   Your pet is never confused over who to love most
37.   You never have to worry about being betrayed
38.   No arguments about furniture style and home decor
39.   No disappointments - ever

As I read it, I had to admit that I really liked the reasons he documented. I couldn’t really argue with any of them. So… what does this mean when the list of cons seriously outweighs the pros?? If I can acknowledge and admit this, then why would I still feel a relationship would be nice to have at some point?

Perhaps it is something that is not really explainable?

I will certainly be doing some soul searching on this topic. For now, I will have to accept that it just doesn’t make sense – and maybe, just maybe… I have had these wants and desires for all the wrong reasons.