Intuitively, I aspire to be in a relationship but as I progress in
this journey, I am becoming increasingly aware of not only what a relationship
would mean, but more importantly, why I would want one in the first place. If I
acknowledge the logical side of my brain, I know that I would like to be in a
relationship for all the wrong reasons. For a very long time, I have had this
notion in my mind that being in a relationship was actually a sign of status,
or even accomplishment. It is certainly a sign that I have done what is
expected in life. It’s archaic and it took a very close friend of mine to point
out that picture for me. It was a very jagged pill to swallow but I did. Now I
am working diligently on absorbing it, but denial can be a disease to some of
us.
I don’t like fashioning myself to that of a female, but there is a
statement made by Chimamanda Ngozi Aside that reads:
"We teach our girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.
We say to girls ‘you can have ambition but not too much. You can be successful,
but not too successful; otherwise you threaten the man.
Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am
expected to make life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is most
important.
A marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but
how do we teach girls that they should aspire to marriage and not teach boys
the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for the jolt of
accomplishment which I think can be good.
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that
boys are."
‘Feminist’; A person who believes in the social, political and
economic equality of the sexes.
Like so many things in our lives, we are predisposed to things
that we believe that we want or need. Sometimes we find ourselves in steady
search of those things without knowing the reason behind them. More often than
not, we as human beings want those things that are not always best for us at the
time.
I know that barely scraping the surface here but I need to work on
all of these things.
I think that’s enough David philosophy for one day….
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