Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Weekend of Calls; "these calls were about facing the facts."

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My weekend was spent talking to friends and family on the phone and of course, watching football. My 49ers ended up tying with the Rams which was crazy, but at least we remain number 1 in our division.
 The phone calls were interesting…
I called Cliff because there had been a decided shift in our correspondence. It had became more intimate and heartfelt in nature. He had made a couple of references to the suggestion of “if we were together” and well, I took note of that. When I called, I realized almost immediately that he sounded distant and withdrawn. Not long after that, he began to use phrases such as ‘we will either stay in or go to the gym’. He was of course, referring to his partner and himself. Reality smacked me in the face and I thought to myself; ‘What the hell am I thinking?’ In sensing his discomfort, I decided to end the call. I wrote to him and am awaiting his response.

As always, she needed advice from me regarding a new car purchase and somehow it segued into the possibility of her moving to South Beach, Miami Florida instead of Boston. Mind you, I had just finished writing a letter to Joe about the possibility of him moving to Florida as a retirement thought. I couldn’t help but to think that the timing was incredibly odd. Still, it began the wheels roiling in my head. I know deep down mom wants to be close to me, but I am going to be released to live at Joe’s house. If he is in Boston, I will be in Boston and if he is in Florida, I will be in Florida. As a starting point, it is the best situation for me. Eventually though, I will be living in Boston, one way or the other. That is where I want my permanent residence and my life to be. Surprisingly, mom sounded as if she already expected that.

Without provocation, he reassured me that coming to live with him was 100% fine. He has come around to the idea of it and I am so relieved. I know that there will be challenges between us, but what I need is to start making my own way. Joe is my friend and does not symbolize a parental figure. I do not have to hide anything from him and will not feel pressure to do things that I am not really on board with.

The key to all three of these phone calls is that they do correlate to one another. All of these calls were about facing the facts, acknowledging reality and moving forward,
Anyway, I am back to work, but only until Friday and then I am off for another 12 days for Thanksgiving. As I mentioned before; I have a lot of vacation time this month…

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